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Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree ?

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge impact on both individuals and society. g5YdL
Social media sites such as Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter etc were created for the purpose of sharing snippets of a person's daily life and connecting with new people. I feel that such social networking sites have a detrimental effect on people's life, but needles to say that there are many advantages too. One of the biggest negative impact of social networking sites is that people have forgotten to live in the present. People capture photos, videos wherever they go, whatever they see be it visiting a restaurant or travelling by the mountains. Capturing memories is good but one must not overdo it. For example when a group of friends meet a restaurant for dinner after the food arrives people start clicking photos of it and upload them on social networking sites. And after some time they are busy checking their photos or chatting with other people on their smart phones. On the other side there are many advantages of social networking sites. They allow us to connect and share ideas with new people of different countries, origins, ideologies etc. They help people in their tough times. Linkedin is an example of such social networking site where people make connections and companies post their job openings. The site has helped many people find their dream jobs and even helped many people who have lost their jobs find new ones. To conclude each social networking site has its own advantages and disadvantages. One must learn to use it in a wise manner and to his/her own advantage.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
such as Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter etc
were created
for the purpose of sharing snippets of a person's daily life and connecting with new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I feel that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have a detrimental effect on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Did you mean "needless"?
needles
to say that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
too. One of the biggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have forgotten to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the present.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
capture photos, videos wherever they go, whatever they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
be it visiting a restaurant or travelling by the mountains. Capturing memories is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not overdo it.
For example
when a group of friends
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "meets"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'meet' is not always incorrect.)
meet
a restaurant for dinner after the food arrives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
clicking photos of it and upload them on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
. And after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time they are busy checking their photos or chatting with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on their smart phones. On the other side there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
us to connect and share
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
with new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries, origins, ideologies etc. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their tough times.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Linkedin
is an example of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
connections and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
post their job openings. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find their dream jobs and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have lost their jobs find new ones.
To conclude
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
and disadvantages. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
Consider replacing "in a wise manner" with the adverb for "wise"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a wise manner
and to his/her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge impact on both individuals and society.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
254 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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