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Many people believe that social networking sites like Facebook have had a negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.1

Many people believe that social networking sites like Facebook have had a negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 1
In these days, with the advent of technology, social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram are becoming increasingly popular. Some masses believe that these sites have a negative impact on the individuals and the community. I agree with the notion that social networking sites have a negative effects and explain reasons in the upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, there are reason why social networking sites have adverse impact on individuals. The first and the predominant reason is that people relationships have become shallow. Most of the individuals spend a lot of time online so they do not have time to visit their friends or relatives. For example, in the past time people used to get together at least once a month, but nowadays most of the folks do not know many of their relatives. Hence, there are no close relationship in this era. Moreover, there are also negative effect on the local community. The majority of the people waste hours in front of laptops or smartphones chatting on Facebook with this they fail to pay attention to their work. For instance, students do not perform best in exams because they spend more time on computers or mobile instead of studying. As a result, social networking sites hinder the progress of the community. In conclusion, although Facebook and other sites have their own merits however, l strongly agree that social networking sites have more detrimental effects on both the individuals and society. People ought to used properly so that they obtain more merits rather than demerits.
In these days, with the advent of technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
such as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram are becoming
increasingly
popular.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
masses believe that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and the community. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
reasons in the upcoming paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have adverse impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
. The
first
and the predominant reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
relationships have become shallow. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to visit their friends or relatives.
For example
, in the past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together at least once a month,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays most of the folks do not know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of their relatives.
Hence
, there are no close relationship in this era.

Moreover
, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the local community. The majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
waste hours in front of laptops or smartphones chatting on Facebook with this they fail to pay attention to their work.
For instance
, students do not perform best in exams
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on computers or mobile
instead
of studying.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
hinder the progress of the community.

In conclusion
, although Facebook and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits
however
, l
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have more detrimental effects on both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
properly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they obtain more merits
rather
than demerits.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that social networking sites like Facebook have had a negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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