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Many people believe that playing games teaches us about life while others believe that children waste their time by playing games. What’s your opinion? Use specific reasons to support your opinion.

Many people believe that playing games teaches us about life while others believe that children waste their time by playing games. What’s your opinion? Use specific reasons to support your opinion. PVMpp
As far as I know, be busy with hobbies is becoming a crucial topic in the world, so thought of some people about it is useful, but others flatly contradict to that sight. I strongly believe that to realize life with standing in front of mates is archaic intelligently method and it has become basic among not only the rising generations but also adults too and I agree with the opinion. Firstly, to be friendly, be able to work on a team are irresistible parts of teaching introduction to understand the life of wisdom. And playing games accustoms us teamwork, especially in the team game. For instance, in football club members strive to comprehend each other during the game with actions, words and exactly it contributes to team victory. Because egoism is not absorbed in players` mind, indeed every member forgets him/herself and plays for team success. As you see, people excuse from conceit. Consequently, to be fond of doing sport teaches us to collaborate, coexistence, organization, leadership which in turn affects positively our relationships with other people. Secondly, another reason is some sorts of sport`s rules are alike to live`s. For example, in chess, players` time is linked whole genuine opponents never give up until over the party. The most essential pieces are sacrificed to save the king or improve the situation. And a pawn can be the most powerful piece such as poor child will become rich in the future. The most similarity can be patiently and it is a golden rule of life. That is one way of looking it. However, many children spend their spare time playing games, indeed to do school lessons, homework. They estrange opportunities of themselves. They shall make a schedule, which helps to deal their days. In conclusion, I tend to agree with playing games teaches us advantageous experiment, what need in prediction.
As far as I know, be busy with hobbies is becoming a crucial topic in the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about it is useful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others
flatly
contradict to that sight. I
strongly
believe that to realize life with standing in front of mates is archaic
intelligently
method and it has become basic among not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the rising generations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
adults too and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the opinion.

Firstly
, to be friendly, be able to work on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
are irresistible parts of teaching introduction to understand the life of wisdom. And playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
accustoms us teamwork,
especially
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
game.
For instance
, in football club members strive to comprehend each other during the game with actions, words and exactly it contributes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
victory.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
egoism is not absorbed in players` mind,
indeed
every member forgets him/herself and plays for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
success. As you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
excuse from conceit.
Consequently
, to be fond of doing sport teaches us to collaborate, coexistence, organization, leadership which in turn affects
positively
our relationships with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Secondly
, another reason is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sorts of
The character between 'sport' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "sport’s" (curly apostrophe) or "sport's" (straight apostrophe).
sport`s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
are alike to
Do not use 's with a verb. Did you mean "lives"?
live`s
.
For example
, in chess, players` time
is linked
whole genuine opponents never give up until over the party. The most essential pieces
are sacrificed
to save the king or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the situation. And a pawn can be the most powerful piece such as poor child will become rich in the future. The most similarity can be
patiently
and it is a golden
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
of life.

That is
one way of looking it.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children spend their spare time playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
,
indeed
to do school lessons, homework. They estrange opportunities of themselves. They shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a schedule, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to deal their days.

In conclusion
, I tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
teaches us advantageous experiment, what need in prediction.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that playing games teaches us about life while others believe that children waste their time by playing games. What’s your opinion? Use specific reasons to support your opinion.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
311 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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