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Some people think that famous people can help international aid organizations to draw attention to important problems. Others believe that the celebrities can make the problems seem less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that famous people can help international aid organizations to draw attention to important problems. Others believe that the celebrities can make the problems seem less important. pRX0a
Some people think that famous people can help international aid organizations to draw attention to important problems. Others believe that the celebrities can make the problems seem less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Some parts of the world, especially the developing countries need more help than others. Many celebrities have lent their hand and brought international attention and aid to support the local causes by highlighting them in the media, bringing significant financial aid, and encouraging volunteering. While, many people appreciate it, others however, are of the opinion that they can make the problem seem superfluous. This essay will examine whether celebrities are able to positively influence a cause or not. On the one hand, there have been plethora of examples where celebrities have walked the cause and have made organizations across the globe take cognizance of the plight and hardships that some people had to endure. To illustrate, the Australian Cricket team raised awareness around breast cancer by highlighting it in cricket matches. As a result of this, the McGrath Foundation for Breast Cancer received more than 10 million dollars of funding from global cricketing enthusiasts and organization. More often than note, thanks to media attention on celebrities many of such causes have received huge aids from international communities. On the other hand, there have been cases, where celebrities have jumped into supporting non-related causes and brought more harm than good. For example, the support that Great Thunberg, the young climate activist, provide to the Save Farmers campaign from India found little coherence with the causes she was supports. As a result, the campaign faced severe media and public backlash, and ultimately ended up weakening it. People find it difficult to support a cause when they find it difficult to make campaign connection to the protagonist. To conclude, while there are many instances where a celebrity support has propelled a campaign to great media attention and funding, there are equal number of examples, where celebrity involvement has softened the campaign. I believe, that while celebrity involvement is good, celebrities should have a moral obligation to get involved only in causes they really care about and are able to relate to, else, they will end up sabotaging the campaign and many people's hope with it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
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famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
international
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aid
organizations to draw
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attention
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
problems. Others believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the problems seem less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
parts of the world,
especially
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
need more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
than others.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
have lent their hand and brought international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
by highlighting them in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, bringing significant financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
, and encouraging volunteering. While,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
appreciate it, others
however
, are of the opinion that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the problem seem superfluous. This essay will examine whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are able to
positively
influence a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
or not.

On the one hand, there have been plethora of examples where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
have walked the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
and have made organizations across the globe take cognizance of the plight and hardships that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had to endure. To illustrate, the Australian Cricket team raised awareness around breast cancer by highlighting it in cricket matches.
As a result
of this, the McGrath Foundation for Breast Cancer received more than 10 million dollars of funding from global cricketing enthusiasts and organization. More
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
than note, thanks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
have received huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aids
from international communities.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there have been cases, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
have jumped into supporting non-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
and brought more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
that Great Thunberg, the young climate activist, provide to the Save Farmers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campaign
from India found
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
coherence with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
she was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supports
.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campaign
faced severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and public backlash, and
ultimately
ended up weakening it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
find it difficult to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
when they find it difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campaign
connection to the protagonist.
To conclude
, while there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
instances where a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
has propelled a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campaign
to great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
and funding, there are equal number of examples, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
involvement has softened the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campaign
. I believe, that while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
involvement is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
should have a moral obligation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
they
really
care about and are able to relate to, else, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up sabotaging the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campaign
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's hope with it.
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IELTS essay Some people think that famous people can help international aid organizations to draw attention to important problems. Others believe that the celebrities can make the problems seem less important.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
378 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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