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many people believe that parents are too permissive to their children. Do you agree that this is a problem. Defend your answer v.2

many people believe that parents are too permissive to their children. Do you agree that this is a problem. Defend your answer v. 2
Nowadays, parents are sometimes accused of corrupting their children by being permissive to them. I think oppositely and believe that the permissive approach of the parents toward their children is not a problem. The young are highly energetic and eager to explore the world. They have hunger for acquiring novel experiences and barely have strong concerns for anything that deter them from their goals. Therefore, they may take risks and participate in relentless acts with or without having their parents' permission. Modern psychology suggests giving the necessary knowledge to children and then the responsibility to decide what to do independently. Consequently, they will feel happy because of feeling the independency. Moreover, they mostly will choose the right thing if they have enough knowledge. Having the permission to explore the world of exciting unknowns will produce a trusting atmosphere between children and parents. Thus, in case of any doubt or serious condition, the young will refer to their parents as their main supporters. I remember a friend of mine who was sexually harassed in a teenage party, where she was not allowed by her parents to go. However, she was afraid to tell the problem to them. Instead, she started to feel depressed and anxious. Moreover, if children trust their parents and perceived them as friendly, supportive, and considerate guides they will freely talk about their new experiences and about their future plans. In this way, parents will become aware of any potential danger or wrongdoing and will be rather capable of protecting their naïve children from possible harms. To come to a conclusion, permissiveness is not a problem especially when it is preceded by proper knowledge. Parents who feed their kids with useful information should not restrict their chance of experiencing their free will. I believe that being permissive is not a problem.
Nowadays,
parents
are
sometimes
accused of corrupting their
children
by being permissive to them. I
think
oppositely
and believe that the permissive approach of the
parents
toward their
children
is not a problem.

The young are
highly
energetic and eager to explore the world. They have hunger for acquiring novel experiences and
barely
have strong concerns for anything that deter them from their goals.
Therefore
, they may take
risks
and participate in relentless acts with or without having their
parents&
#039; permission. Modern psychology suggests giving the necessary knowledge to
children
and then the responsibility to decide what to do
independently
.
Consequently
, they will feel happy
because
of feeling the
independency
.
Moreover
, they
mostly
will choose the right thing if they have
enough
knowledge.

Having the permission to explore the world of exciting unknowns will produce a trusting atmosphere between
children
and
parents
.
Thus
, in case of any doubt or serious condition, the young will refer to their
parents
as their main supporters. I remember a friend of mine who was
sexually
harassed in a teenage party, where she was not
allowed
by her
parents
to go.
However
, she was afraid to
tell
the problem to them.
Instead
, she
started
to feel depressed and anxious.

Moreover
, if
children
trust their
parents
and perceived them as friendly, supportive, and considerate guides they will
freely
talk about their new experiences and about their future plans. In this way,
parents
will become aware of any potential
danger
or wrongdoing and will be
rather
capable of protecting their naïve
children
from possible harms.

To
come
to a conclusion, permissiveness is not a problem
especially
when it
is preceded
by proper knowledge.
Parents
who feed their kids with useful information should not restrict their chance of experiencing their free will. I believe that being permissive is not a problem.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay many people believe that parents are too permissive to their children. Do you agree that this is a problem. Defend your answer v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
303 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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