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Many people believe that olympic events are exciting events that bring nations together. Other believe olympics are too expensive to waste money on them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In this contemporary world today, international games are tempting people across the world. it is often argued by some that such games bring peace and tranquility in people living in various parts of the world. Meanwhile, others believe that money should be spent on poor people of society instead of spending it on olympics games. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument, before reaching a logical opinion. On the one hand, the supporters of the view that olympics are essential for nations belive that it would bring peace and harmony among nations. As people would learn Bout other country's norms and culture, thereby have more empathy and compassion for each other. Take an example of Emma Watson a Hollywood star, once attributed that olympics games are source of entertainment as well as peace. Thus, games help develop love and peace amo g people. While on the other hand, the advocates of the view that money spent in olympics games is so much belive that such money can be used to help financially challenged people. As sharing fortune with people who are immersed in impoverished life would be more important than spend it on olympic games. For instance, a pilot study showed that money spend on games, if spend on poor people would abolish poverty from the world. Hence, money spend on olympics game should rather be spend on weak people of the society. However, I believe that olympics games are important for country's development as well as for people. As such games might generate healthy competition among people to work hard and earn fame for them and their country. To sum-up, even though money spent on olympics games can help poor people of the society, but it would bring tremendous benefits to country's development.
In this contemporary
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world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are tempting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
across the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
it
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peace
and tranquility in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in various parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. Meanwhile, others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be spent
on poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of society
instead
of spending it on
Possible spelling mistake found.
olympics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching a logical opinion.

On the one hand, the supporters of the view that
Possible spelling mistake found.
olympics
are essential for nations
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
that it would bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peace
and harmony among nations. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would learn Bout
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
country's norms and culture, thereby have more empathy and compassion for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. Take an example of Emma Watson a Hollywood star, once attributed that
Possible spelling mistake found.
olympics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are source of entertainment
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peace
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peace
Possible spelling mistake found.
amo
g
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. While on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the advocates of the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spent in
Possible spelling mistake found.
olympics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
that such
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money
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
financially
challenged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
sharing fortune with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are immersed
in impoverished life would be more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
it on olympic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
For instance
, a pilot study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
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money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, if
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spend
on poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would abolish poverty from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
Hence
,
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money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on
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olympics
game should
rather
be
Consider using either the past participle “spent” or the present participle “spending” here.
spend
on weak
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people
of the society.

However
, I believe that
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olympics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for country's development
as well
as for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. As such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
might generate healthy competition among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and earn fame for them and their country. To sum-up,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spent on
Possible spelling mistake found.
olympics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it would bring tremendous benefits to country's development.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that olympic events are exciting events that bring nations together. Other believe olympics are too expensive to waste money on them.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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