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Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. To what extent do you agree?

Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. PD0X
In today’s era there are multifarious things which are making positive and negative impact on children. One school of knowledge believes that the life of celebrities which shows on tv by the media, is making a negative impact on the life of children. I am partially agree with this statement and I would to like to express my views on this debate in upcoming paragraphs. As we all know that children are very vulnerable, small things makes major impact on their behaviour. In this modern era children spend plenty of their time while watching tv and mobile phones. Media shows the luxury life of celebrities on tv and, they get influenced and become as like them. In some interviews, celebrities share their struggle with audience. This gesture helps and tech the children to do hard work. Moreover, some celebrities belong to sports field and they are encouraging the children to focus in sports activities. According to US survey, 7 Children out of 10 join the sports academy after get influenced form sport individuals. We all know that each coin has both sides, according to this statement these media coverages also making a negative impact on children’s life. As we know some celebrities use drugs during the media coverage. Children think use of drug makes them iconic among others, resulted they start smoking, drink alcohol and use other drugs. These activities are spoiling their whole life. Apart form that, during coverages public figures are doing some stunts on bike and car. Children tries to follow them and get hurts. A study was conducted in Uk on 100 children, 80 children get hurt during showing stunts to others. In my conclusion I would like to say that parents should monitor their children. Parents should tell their children what is important for them and which things has worst impact on their life.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s era there are multifarious things which are making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. One school of knowledge believes that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, is making a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. I am
partially
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
with this statement and I would to like to express my views on this debate in upcoming paragraphs.

As we all know that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vulnerable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. In this modern era
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of their time while watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
and mobile phones.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the luxury
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
and, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
influenced and become as like them. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
interviews,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
share their struggle with audience. This gesture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
and tech the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
belong to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "sport".
sports
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
field and
they are encouraging the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "focus".
focus in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities. According to US survey, 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
out of 10
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
academy after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
influenced form
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
individuals.

We all know that each coin has both sides, according to this statement these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
coverages
also
making a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
we know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
drugs during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
coverage.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of drug
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them iconic among others, resulted they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
smoking, drink alcohol and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
other drugs. These activities are spoiling their whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Possible typo. Did you mean "apart from"?
Apart form
that, during coverages public figures are doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
stunts on bike and car.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "child tries".
Children tries
to follow them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hurts. A study
was conducted
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Uk
on 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, 80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hurt during showing stunts to others.

In my conclusion I would like to say that parents should monitor their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for them and which things
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "have", "haven".
has
A determiner is probably missing here: "the worst".
worst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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