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Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. To what extent do you agree? v.2

Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. v. 2
Nowadays, media is an important pillar of democratic system, which aids the people with huge information from all aspects of life. But many people thought that media news related to famous stars have negative impact on the young mind. I do partly agree with this statement. This essay discuss in datails. On the one hand, this is true that, with the fast pace in technology media have enough power to coverage all aspects of the celebrities's lifestyle. Therefore, uploaded this information on various sources of media like print media, digital media or on internet for easy access to people. Which result in, young children are trying to imitate the life style of famous personalities, consequently, they distract from their future career aspiration. For instance, many children attempts to copy the illegal method of earning money, as like they saw them on movies. Additonally, Some youngster who follow their stars are copying the fashion sense, which it is not accepted in the society. Hence, abundant information about celebrities tend the detrimental affect on youth On the other hand, media information about star's life is beneficial in owning myraid reasons. Firstly, many children get inspired from the hard life success stories of the famous person. Therefore, it provide the motivation and self confidence among the youth mind. For instance, autobiography of some stars is really inspiration for the children and encourge to fullfill their life's ambitions. Furthermore, media coverage of stars make people more conginant. Therefore, they have a chance to get learn how to communicate among the audience. In conclusion, media information about different aspects make people more knowlegable. Therefore media should covered only positive aspect of celebrities life, so that it become more useful for the young people.
Nowadays,
media
is an
important
pillar of democratic system, which aids the
people
with huge
information
from all
aspects
of
life
.
But
many
people
thought
that
media
news related to
famous
stars
have
negative
impact on the young mind. I do partly
agree
with this statement.
This essay discuss
in
datails
.

On the one hand, this is true that, with the
fast
pace in technology
media
have
enough
power to coverage all
aspects
of the
celebrities's
lifestyle.
Therefore
, uploaded this
information
on various sources of
media
like print
media
, digital
media
or on internet for easy access to
people
. Which result in, young
children
are trying to imitate the
life
style of
famous
personalities,
consequently
, they distract from their future career aspiration.
For instance
,
many
children
attempts to copy the illegal method of earning money, as like they
saw
them on movies.
Additonally
,
Some
youngster who follow their
stars
are copying the fashion sense, which it is not
accepted
in the society.
Hence
, abundant
information
about celebrities tend the detrimental
affect
on youth

On the other hand
,
media
information
about star's
life
is beneficial in owning
myraid
reasons.
Firstly
,
many
children
get
inspired from the
hard
life
success stories of the
famous
person.
Therefore
, it
provide
the motivation and
self confidence
among the youth mind.
For instance
, autobiography of
some
stars
is
really
inspiration for the
children
and
encourge
to
fullfill
their life's ambitions.
Furthermore
,
media
coverage of
stars
make
people
more
conginant
.
Therefore
, they have a chance to
get
learn how to communicate among the audience.

In conclusion
,
media
information
about
different
aspects
make
people
more
knowlegable
.
Therefore
media
should
covered
only
positive
aspect
of celebrities
life
,
so
that it become more useful for the young
people
.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. v. 2

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
288 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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