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Many people believe that it is the responsibility of first world nations to help other countries. Others, however, feel that these countries have their own problems and should help themselves first. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many people believe that it is the responsibility of first world nations to help other countries. Others, however, feel that these countries have their own problems and should help themselves first. 6d9qK
The issue of whether developed countries should offer assistance to developing countries has been heatedly debated over decades. Some people feel that those counties has their own issue to be handled first; however, I am of the opinion that developed counties' support would be vital. in the following paragraphs, I will explore the rational of both views on the matters. There are numerous reason that people think the developing countries have to deal with their own issue prior to obtain helps from the others. One of the supporting claim is that these countries often have high rate of crime in their society. More specifically, their society is lack of resources in many aspect, particularly in education. In deed, the population with low education and unemployed who are usually struggle with living essential supplies, therefore, they may turn to crime for their survive needs. Thus, developing counties think this is their own responsibility to fix this matter at the first place. Although, some people feel that these countries need to take their ownership on the matter; however, I believe that it is hard and almost impossible to solve the issue without developing countries support. In fact, developing countries often take advantages from the developing countries, such as offer lower labour cost in manufactory industry. For instance, the income they received is not reasonable and not enough to improve their society development while the local environment is often being damaged in the process as well. Hence, the responsibility from developing countries to support other counties to improve their quality of living is vital. In conclusion, despite some feel that developing countries has an urge to deal with their origins issue prior to asking help; however, I believe that developing countries have certain responsibility to assist these countries as the advantages they have taken from them.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
of whether developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should offer assistance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has been
heatedly
debated over decades.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that those counties has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
to
be handled
first
;
however
, I am of the opinion that developed counties' support would be vital.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the following paragraphs, I will explore the rational of both views on the matters.

There are numerous reason that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
prior to obtain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
from the others. One of the supporting claim is that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have high rate of crime in their society. More
specifically
, their society is lack of resources in
Possible agreement error. The noun aspect seems to be countable; consider using: "many aspects".
many aspect
,
particularly
in education. In deed, the population with low education and unemployed who are
usually
struggle with living essential supplies,
therefore
, they may turn to crime for their survive needs.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
counties
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
responsibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
this matter at the
first
place.

Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
need to take their ownership on the matter;
however
, I believe that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and almost impossible to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
support. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
take advantages from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, such as offer lower
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
cost in
Possible spelling mistake found.
manufactory
industry.
For instance
, the income they received is not reasonable and not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their society development while the local environment is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
being damaged
in the process
as well
.
Hence
, the responsibility from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to support other counties to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their quality of living is vital.

In conclusion
, despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has an urge to deal with their origins
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
prior to asking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
;
however
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have certain responsibility to assist these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
as the advantages they have taken from them.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that it is the responsibility of first world nations to help other countries. Others, however, feel that these countries have their own problems and should help themselves first.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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