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Many people believe that in this modern world, wealth is more important than happiness. However, in my point of view, having fun is the most important thing in my life because for two reasons which I will illustrate in the following paragraphs.

Many people believe that in this modern world, wealth is more important than happiness. However, in my point of view, having fun is the most important thing in my life because for two reasons which I will illustrate in the following paragraphs. m8WNd
Many people believe that in this modern world, wealth is more important than happiness. However, in my point of view, having fun is the most important thing in my life because for two reasons which I will illustrate in the following paragraphs. Many people believe that in this modern world, wealth is more important than happiness. However, in my point of view, having fun is the most important thing in my life because for two reasons which I will illustrate in the following paragraphs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that in this modern world, wealth is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than happiness.
However
, in my point of view, having fun is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
thing in my life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
for two reasons which I will illustrate in the following paragraphs.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that in this modern world, wealth is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than happiness.
However
, in my point of view, having fun is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
thing in my life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
for two reasons which I will illustrate in the following paragraphs.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that in this modern world, wealth is more important than happiness. However, in my point of view, having fun is the most important thing in my life because for two reasons which I will illustrate in the following paragraphs.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
84 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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