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Many people believe that companies and individuals should pay to clean up the environment in proportion to the amount of pollution they have produced. To what extent to you agree or disagree? v.2

Many people believe that companies and individuals should pay to clean up the environment in proportion to the amount of pollution they have produced. v. 2
It is a moot issue if learning about the history is really necessary? While a school of thought opines that studying about past incidents has no significance for people who are living in the current era. I believe, although, in present time learning about technology is quite important, to heed the lessons from the past happening and to learn about the culture and tradition of any community it is mandatory to study history. Hence, I partially disagree with this statement. Undoubtedly, studying latest technological concepts is a need of the day. Since, we are living in the present era of technology, it is vital to study about the latest inventions and methods to survive in this competitive world. For instance, nowadays, it is important to have knowledge about computers to secure a good job. Thus, to maintain the expenses of livelihood, only learning about the past is not enough. However, it must be agreed that one can gain knowledge about the consequences of any act of the past incidents. For example, a lot of fights were fought between the nations in the past to bring peace, but not any fight ever brought peace for mankind. These ways higher authorities can learn about the results of fights from history. Furthermore, it is undeniable fact that studying history is the main requirement to learn about the cultural and traditional values of any religion's people. In this case by reading the scriptures of some religion one can learn about the rituals and beliefs of that community. For instance, it is necessary to study 'Guru Granth Sahib Ji', a Sikh religion holy book, to know about the roots and lessons Sikh religion. In conclusion, even though, there are views that learning about bygone days has no importance, according to my opinion studying history is equally important for the present generation as learning about the technology. Study about the past time provides ample opportunity to gain knowledge about past incidents and cultural values
It is a moot issue if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is
really
necessary? While a school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
opines that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
incidents has no significance for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are living in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
era. I believe, although, in present time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
about technology is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, to heed the lessons from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
happening and to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about the culture and tradition of any community it is mandatory to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
Hence
, I
partially
disagree with this statement.

Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
technological concepts is a need of the day. Since, we are living in the present era of technology, it is vital to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
about the latest inventions and methods to survive in this competitive world.
For instance
, nowadays, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have knowledge about computers to secure a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job.
Thus
, to maintain the expenses of livelihood,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.

However
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that one can gain knowledge about the consequences of any act of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
incidents.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
fights
were fought
between the nations in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
to bring peace,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not any fight ever brought peace for mankind. These ways higher authorities can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about the results of fights from history.

Furthermore
, it is undeniable fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is the main requirement to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about the cultural and traditional values of any religion's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
In this case
by reading the scriptures of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
religion one can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about the rituals and beliefs of that community.
For instance
, it is necessary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
'Guru
Possible spelling mistake found.
Granth
Sahib
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ji
', a Sikh religion holy book, to know about the roots and lessons Sikh religion.

In conclusion
,
even though
, there are views that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
about bygone days has no importance, according to my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the present generation as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
about the technology.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Study
about the
Did you mean "pastime"?
past time
provides ample opportunity to gain knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
incidents and cultural
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
values
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Many people believe that companies and individuals should pay to clean up the environment in proportion to the amount of pollution they have produced. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
327 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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