Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many people believe that companies and individuals should pay to clean up the environment in proportion to the amount of pollution they have produced. v.3

Many people believe that companies and individuals should pay to clean up the environment in proportion to the amount of pollution they have produced. v. 3
It is often argued that people should be charged in accordance with the amount of pollution they produce. While I accept that certain organisations should be penalised for this, I believe that every individual should not be forced to pay a fine. There are several reasons why the giant entrepreneurs should pay for contaminating the land. Having penalised with a specific amount of money factories will help the government to raise money which can be used in a variety of long-term and rationalised measures to mitigate the pollution from the earth. This will also deter them from producing more garbage and pollution. Take London as an example, where governments have invested recently a hefty amount of money in public transportation, in particular, local buses which have been designed to be much more efficient than the older ones. So these vehicles discharge fewer combustible pollutants into the air. Also, these self-centered companies sometimes exploit natural resources such as forests, water land and agricultural lands, beyond all their limits just to increase the profit. If these companies are not obliged to share the amount of money, which is required to curb pollutions, they will become more short-sighted (or greedy) in terms of making more money without even caring about the impact on climate change and environment. However, I would argue that every individual should not be liable to pay recommended fine. It is unrealistic that we can stop people from polluting the universe merely by imposing charges. Because people need electricity to enjoy technologies, a farmland to grow crops and an accommodation to live, food to eat as well as a mean of transportation to travel. Furthermore, if people from devastated backgrounds are charged more for the impact they have on climate; it will create an upheaval situation where lower-income groups would not be able to pay even for their daily necessities. In conclusion, organisations who are earning millions of pounds by exploiting natural resources should only be obliged to share the amount of money in curbing the pollution rather than all the common citizens.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be charged
in accordance with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
they produce. While I accept that certain
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'penalised' is British English.
penalised
for this, I believe that every individual should not
be forced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
a fine.

There are several reasons why the giant entrepreneurs should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for contaminating the land. Having
Possible spelling mistake. 'penalised' is British English.
penalised
with a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
factories will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in a variety of long-term and
Possible spelling mistake. 'rationalised' is British English.
rationalised
measures to mitigate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
from the earth. This will
also
deter them from producing more garbage and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. Take London as an example, where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
have invested recently a hefty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in public transportation,
in particular
, local buses which have
been designed
to be much more efficient than the older ones.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
these vehicles discharge fewer combustible pollutants into the air.
Also
, these self-centered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
exploit natural resources such as forests, water land and agricultural lands, beyond all their limits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to increase the profit. If these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are not obliged to share the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, which
is required
to curb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollutions
, they will become more short-sighted (or greedy) in terms of making more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
without even caring about the impact on climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and environment.

However
, I would argue that every individual should not be liable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
recommended fine. It is unrealistic that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from polluting the universe
merely
by imposing charges.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need electricity to enjoy technologies, a farmland to grow crops and
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "accommodation".
an accommodation
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, food to eat
as well
as a mean of transportation to travel.
Furthermore
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from devastated backgrounds
are charged
more for the impact they have on climate; it will create an upheaval situation where lower-income groups would not be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
even for their daily necessities.

In conclusion
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
who are earning millions of pounds by exploiting natural resources should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be obliged
to share the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in curbing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
rather
than all the common citizens.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that companies and individuals should pay to clean up the environment in proportion to the amount of pollution they have produced. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts