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Many people beleive that person over 65 should not be allowed to continue working. Others beleive that people should be allowed to work as much as they want. Discuss both the perspectives and give your own opinion

Many people beleive that person over 65 should not be allowed to continue working. Others beleive that people should be allowed to work as much as they want. Discuss both the perspectives and give your own opinion waxXe
Most of the people assume that person should allowed to continue working while other beleive that person should allowed to work as they want. In this essay both views and opinion will be discussed. To initiate with, the individual who say that person above 65 have not allow to continue work as after the old age. The bones of the senior citizen become weak due to which they are not capable of performing work. Furthermore, their body didn't get sufficient amount of nutrients. Therefore, they are not performing work when they are above of 65 For instance - ln lndia person who are senior citizen at the period of getting retire they get their retirement salary. So, that they can use their currency whenever they want. Hence, people are free to use their fund by ourselves. Moreover, they feel pleasure the salary from the job. On the conversely, the human who assumptions that person are allowing to continue work so that, they lead active and healthy lifestyle. Therefore, majority of the folks remain healthy always as they intake the essential nutrients require to their body. Thus, lf the lndividual is willing to continue their employment, he must be allowed to work till the age they want. For instance- ln abroad, native are working at the age they want. In such a way, person body stay fit always. To conclude this, both the views have their own perspective but my opinion people should allow to work at the age they want to employ whereas it depending the person body fitness because some people even continue after the age of 65 while the other person didn't do any work as lead a unhealthy lifestyle due to which they doen't have the capability of doing work.
Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assume that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "allow"
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
continue
working while other
Possible spelling mistake found.
beleive
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "allow"
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
. In this essay both views and opinion will
be discussed
. To initiate with, the individual who say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
above 65 have not
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "allowed".
allow
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
continue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as after the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. The bones of the senior citizen become weak due to which they are not capable of performing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Furthermore
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
didn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sufficient amount of nutrients.
Therefore
, they are not performing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
when they are above of 65
For instance
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Possible spelling mistake found.
ln
Possible spelling mistake found.
lndia
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who are senior citizen at the period of getting retire they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their retirement salary.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their currency whenever they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are free to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their fund by ourselves.
Moreover
, they feel pleasure the salary from the job. On the
conversely
, the human who assumptions that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
are allowing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
continue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, they lead active and healthy lifestyle.
Therefore
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
the folks remain healthy always as they intake the essential nutrients require to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
.
Thus
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
lf
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
lndividual
is willing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
continue
their employment, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
till the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
.
For instance
-
Possible spelling mistake found.
ln
abroad, native are working at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
. In such a way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
stay fit always.
To conclude
this, both the views have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to employ whereas it
The verb 'to depend' requires the preposition '(up)on': "depending on".
depending
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
fitness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
continue
after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 65 while the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
didn't do any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as lead
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
unhealthy lifestyle due to which they
Did you mean "doesn't"?
doen't
have the capability of doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
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IELTS essay Many people beleive that person over 65 should not be allowed to continue working. Others beleive that people should be allowed to work as much as they want. Discuss both the perspectives and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
293 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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