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My last backpacking trip with my friends Was it great

My last backpacking trip with my friends Was it great Ry26M
Recently, about several weeks ago, I was on an official vacation because my casual leaves from my work were getting accumulated year after year. In fact, I was working too much, so as soon as I asked for some vacation time for a holiday trip for my whole family, my company gladly agreed. Immediately, the next day, my whole family, including my parents, my young wife and a couple of my siblings were well on our way to one of the stunningly beautiful port cities of my country. Of course, before deciding about our destination, we argued long among ourselves as to what were some of the best spots to choose for our trip. Some argued that we would travel to a tourist spot of a neighbouring country of ours because the weather there was perfect at that time of the year. Some others argued that we would travel to Europe. But, in the end, we agreed to the proposal of my loving mother who suggested that we would travel to a major port city in my country because it was so naturally beautiful. In fact, my mother told us that she had long held a dream in her heart to witness how all those foreign and beautiful looking ships, full of many different kinds of people and cargos, from different parts of the world, were docking at our port. But, as for the remaining members of my family, we went there mainly to enjoy the beautiful mountain site, with plenty of trees underneath of it, and swimming in the warm water of our ocean. Then, of course, we also wanted to enjoy the barbeque of some freshly-caught sea fishes. Anyway, it was a nice family trip because we all did some fun things, which included swimming in the ocean, enjoying a speed boat ride, taking a family picture of ours at the feet of the rather large mountain site along with many other beautiful pictures at different interesting parts of the city. We also didn’t forget to purchase some beautiful boutiques to carry with us to home as some souvenir.
Recently, about several weeks ago, I was on an official vacation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
my casual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
from my work were getting accumulated year after year. In fact, I was working too much,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
asked for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
vacation time for a holiday trip for my whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
gladly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
. Immediately, the
next
day, my whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, including my parents, my young wife and a couple of my siblings were well on our way to one of the
stunningly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beautiful
port cities of my country.

Of course
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
deciding about our destination, we argued long among ourselves as to what were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the best spots to choose for our trip.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argued that we would travel to a tourist spot of a
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
country of ours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the weather there was perfect at that time of the year.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
others argued that we would travel to Europe.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
to the proposal of my loving mother who suggested that we would travel to a major port city in my country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
naturally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
.

In fact, my mother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
us that she had long held a dream in her heart to witness how all those foreign and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beautiful
looking ships, full of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and cargos, from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world, were docking at our port.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, as for the remaining members of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, we went there
mainly
to enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beautiful
mountain site, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of trees underneath of it, and swimming in the warm water of our ocean. Then,
of course
, we
also
wanted to enjoy the
Possible spelling mistake found.
barbeque
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
freshly
-caught sea fishes.

Anyway, it was a nice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
trip
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we all did
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fun things, which included swimming in the ocean, enjoying a speed boat ride, taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
picture of ours at the feet of the
rather
large mountain site along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beautiful
pictures at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
interesting parts of the city. We
also
didn’t forget to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beautiful
boutiques to carry with us to home as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
souvenir.
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IELTS essay My last backpacking trip with my friends Was it great

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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