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Many people around world spend the majority of their free time at home watching TV shows

Many people around world spend the majority of their free time at home watching TV shows bx9qW
Watching television is full of fun and entertainment which help to reduce the stress and burden of work section of fox around globe give their much free time at home for watching television shows for the essay will discuss the pros and cons of this notion highlighted in upcoming paragraph To commence, with there are myriad point to support this notion first and foremost watching television in hence the knowledge as well as correct as to the globe culture to elaborate, watching different kind of shows and movies on television which provide use knowledge and tell about the other countries lifestyle for example watching news on television in which provide much knowledge about happening in globe and tell about the new launching products and gadgets therefore people stay updated and have knowledge about the happening around themOn the other hand, some of the demerits of the same is keeping eyes on television for a long time drives the individual towards the serious health issues like lack of physical strength and so on besides it television put bad impact and influence the youngster as in many shows of television artists take dangerous substance like alcohol drugs and many more by seeing them teenagers get affected as they start taking these harmful substances in their life which lead to serious health problemsTo conclude, devote greater spare time in watching television shows in health the knowledge and help individuals to stay updated but it may lead to weak the eyesight and put youngster in harmful consequences
Watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is full of fun and entertainment which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and burden of work section of fox around globe give their much free time at home for watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
for the essay will discuss the pros and cons of this notion highlighted in upcoming paragraph To commence, with there are myriad point to support this notion
first
and foremost watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
in
hence
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
as well
as correct as to the globe culture to elaborate, watching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
and movies on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
which provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
about the other
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "countries'" or "country's"?
countries
lifestyle
for example
watching news on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
in which provide much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about happening in globe and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
about the new launching products and gadgets
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
stay updated and have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about the happening around
Possible spelling mistake found.
themOn
the other hand,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
demerits of the same is keeping eyes on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
for a long time drives the individual towards the serious health issues like lack of physical strength and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on
besides
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
put
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact and influence the youngster as in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
artists take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
substance like alcohol drugs and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more by seeing them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
taking these harmful substances in their life which lead to serious health
Possible spelling mistake found.
problemsTo
conclude, devote greater spare time in watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
in health the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
individuals to stay updated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it may lead to weak the eyesight and put youngster in harmful consequences
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IELTS essay Many people around world spend the majority of their free time at home watching TV shows

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
252 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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