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Many people around the world believe that competition is important, while others say it has its drawbacks. Do you thinks the positives of competition outweigh the negatives?

It is true that there has been more challenges among people in today’s contemporary life. The argument that how important is this fact has become a sort of controversy. It seems to me that there are more benefits of competition as a huge reservoir of development. Some people who oppose with this claim believe that struggling against pupils cause self-dissatisfaction. Take it as an example, applying for the same jobs among older generations and youngsters has considered harder because mostly everybody meets the requirements needed for career application. Even, students who have been graduated from high-ranked universities find it quite difficult to hit a place in labor market. In this way, staying unemployed where there is no source of income, many young adults are more likely to commit crimes such as rubbery to feed themselves. As a result, not only will the citizen’s quality of life diminish, but also their safety will be threatened. On the other hand, the above mentioned sayings are not always the case. I hold my firm belief that taking part in situation where there are various group assessments, humans are able to distinguish between weak and strong points. If candidates are to enjoy a convenient admission procedure, they should get prepared to be eligible for being accepted at their desired profession. People will not achieve success unless trying several times, and learning from their mistakes. Participating in a well-competitive community make individuals more determined for improving their knowledge, in order to battle with other opponents. The higher we like to be placed, the better we tend to try. So, this is the point that separates us from each other. To conclude, to be settled in challenge with others, promote our initial place. Since Competing is the bedrock of improvement if not getting noticed, it will result in disastrous emotional concerns. I see “competition” much productive rather than bringing tragedies.
It is true that there has been more challenges among
people
in
today
’s contemporary life. The argument that how
important
is this fact has become a sort of controversy. It seems to me that there are more benefits of competition as a huge reservoir of development.

Some
people
who oppose with this claim believe that struggling against pupils cause self-dissatisfaction. Take it as an example, applying for the same jobs among older generations and youngsters has considered harder
because
mostly everybody
meets the requirements needed for career application. Even, students who have
been graduated
from high-ranked universities find it quite difficult to hit a place in labor market. In this way, staying unemployed where there is no source of income,
many
young adults are more likely to commit crimes such as rubbery to feed themselves.
As a result
, not
only
will the citizen’s quality of life diminish,
but
also
their safety will
be threatened
.

On the other hand
, the above mentioned sayings are not always the case. I hold my firm belief that taking part in situation where there are various group assessments, humans are able to distinguish between weak and strong points. If candidates are to enjoy a convenient admission procedure, they should
get
prepared to be eligible for being
accepted
at their desired profession.
People
will not achieve success unless trying several times, and learning from their mistakes. Participating in a well-competitive community
make
individuals more determined for improving their knowledge, in order to battle with other opponents. The higher we like to
be placed
, the better we tend to try.
So
, this is the point that separates us from each other.

To conclude
, to
be settled
in challenge with others, promote our initial place. Since Competing is the bedrock of improvement if not getting noticed, it will result in disastrous emotional concerns. I
see
“competition” much productive
rather
than bringing tragedies.
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IELTS essay Many people around the world believe that competition is important, while others say it has its drawbacks. Do you thinks the positives of competition outweigh the negatives?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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