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Many people argue that we should solve human beings' issues first, while others think that the animals extinction should be prioritised. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Many people argue that we should solve human beings' issues first, while others think that the animals extinction should be prioritised. draxd
When the modern world is developing, not only humans but also animals are influenced severely. Hence, different countries and individuals argue that finding solutions to human beings’ issues should be taken priority over, while others support the protection of endangered animals. This essay will discuss the two sides and explain why I advocate the former. On the one hand, animals contribute a lot to the Earth. First, they play a vital role in the balance of ecosystems. According to scientists, plants and animals benefit each other as members of food chains. For instance, flowering plants rely on bees and hummingbirds to pollinate them, while animals eat plants and other things to survive. Thus, the sustainability stability of the system would be easily disrupted due to the animals’ removal. Second, tourism partly depends on wild animals. Many nations have invested in zoos, national parks, ecotourism destinations, etc, with a view to attracting a large number of visitors. This triggers economic development in every country. Moreover, wild animals are an abundant source of biological research, which provides people with a huge amount of useful knowledge. On the other hand, I am supportive of giving preference to dealing with human matters. Human beings are the most intelligent mammals and make a considerable contribution to the developmental process of the world. Nowadays, the advent of innovative inventions is increasing and many issues affecting humans can effectively be resolved. Thanks to innovative agricultural tools and up-to-date machines, for example, famine in some parts of the world has improved and nearly disappeared. Furthermore, the more human life is gradually stabilized, the sooner problems of animal extinction are tackled. When people have no worries about having a serious impact on their daily life, they are able to safeguard some endangered animals with the aid of several devices, so the process can be impulsed faster. In other words, humans are the foundation for other improvements. To sum up, although animal extinction is a big concern to the Earth, I do believe that sorting out human problems is more crucial.
When the modern world is developing, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are influenced
severely
.
Hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries and individuals argue that finding solutions to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings’ issues should
be taken
priority over, while others support the protection of endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. This essay will discuss the two sides and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I advocate the former.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
contribute a lot to the Earth.
First
, they play a vital role in the balance of ecosystems. According to scientists, plants and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
benefit each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
as members of food chains.
For instance
, flowering plants rely on bees and hummingbirds to pollinate them, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
eat plants and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things to survive.
Thus
, the sustainability stability of the system would be
easily
disrupted due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals’
removal. Second, tourism partly depends on wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
nations have invested in zoos, national parks, ecotourism destinations, etc, with a view to attracting
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
visitors. This triggers economic development in every country.
Moreover
, wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are an abundant source of biological research, which provides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with a huge amount of useful knowledge.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I am supportive of giving preference to dealing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
matters.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Human
beings are the most intelligent mammals and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a considerable contribution to the developmental process of the world. Nowadays, the advent of innovative inventions is increasing and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues affecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
can
effectively
be resolved
. Thanks to innovative agricultural tools and up-to-date machines,
for example
, famine in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of the world has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
and
nearly
disappeared.
Furthermore
, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
life is
gradually
stabilized, the sooner problems of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
extinction
are tackled
. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have no worries about having a serious impact on their daily life, they are able to safeguard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
with the aid of several devices,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the process can
be impulsed
faster. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
are the foundation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
improvements.

To sum up, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
extinction is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
concern to the Earth, I do believe that sorting out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
problems is more crucial.
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IELTS essay Many people argue that we should solve human beings' issues first, while others think that the animals extinction should be prioritised.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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