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Many people are opting to shift in the cities from the countryside because of the various reasons which have its benefits and drawbacks on the environment.

Many people are opting to shift in the cities from the countryside because of the various reasons which have its benefits and drawbacks on the environment. 0AApl
Many people are opting to shift in the cities from the countryside because of the various reasons which have its benefits and drawbacks on the environment. To begin with, moving towards cities from the countryside would make people aware regarding not only the distinct type of pollutions but also would help them to learn how to control them. Because a lot of people living in the countryside are not familiar with current pollution situation around the globe, due to which they fail to give their contribution in preventing the pollution but as they would start moving towards cities they would learn more about pollutions and would try to minimize it, rather than spreading it. For example, in the country, Ireland a lot of Government initiatives were taken to curb the pollution, where the Government was paying their citizens to move towards cities so they can learn about the current pollution situation and try to control it. On the other hand, going toward cities also have disadvantages such as the need of more infrastructure, as more and more people would move towards cities, they would need more place to stay, because of which forest land would be used for the constructions of the road and houses, which would lead toward a lot of pollutions such as, air pollution and soil erosion. Moreover, since the population of the city would increase, they will require more resources, such as vehicles to travel and more freshwater to conduct their daily activities, which will lead to more pollution. To conclude, people would be more aware regarding the pollution and the environment if they move towards cities, which is a good sign, but they will need more resources and infrastructure, which is a disadvantage to the environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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people
are opting to shift in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
from the countryside
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because
of the various reasons which have its benefits and drawbacks on the environment.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, moving towards
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cities
from the countryside would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aware regarding not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the distinct type of
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pollutions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to learn how to control them.
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Because
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a lot of
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people
living in the countryside are not familiar with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
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pollution
situation around the globe, due to which they fail to give their contribution in preventing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
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but
as they would
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start
moving towards
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cities
they would learn more about
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pollutions
and would try to minimize it,
rather
than spreading it.
For example
, in the country, Ireland
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
initiatives
were taken
to curb the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
, where the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
was paying their citizens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can learn about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
situation and try to control it.

On the other hand
, going toward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
also
have disadvantages such as the need of more infrastructure, as more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, they would need more place to stay,
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because
of which forest land would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the constructions of the road and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, which would lead toward
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollutions
such as, air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and soil erosion.
Moreover
, since the population of the city would increase, they will require more resources, such as vehicles to travel and more freshwater to conduct their daily activities, which will lead to more pollution.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would be more aware regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and the environment if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, which is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they will need more resources and infrastructure, which is a disadvantage to the environment.
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IELTS essay Many people are opting to shift in the cities from the countryside because of the various reasons which have its benefits and drawbacks on the environment.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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