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Many people are moving from villages to urban centers lately. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Many people are moving from villages to urban centers lately. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? VQdmK
These days people are relocating from rural areas to urban cities. There are several advantages and disadvantages when moving from native place to new town. The few good things in relocating to urban cities. Firstly, they will be easily accessible to their basic needs. When they have moved to urban areas it could help them to travel easily from one place to another and they have access to the new environment. As a result, they will adapt to the urban environment and also they can fulfil their day to day more easily. In addition to that, their kids and families get good schools and health care facilities. When their kids get quality education it will en route their future possibilities. Having said that, some disadvantages also exist when they relocate from villages to urban cities. Firstly, they tend to live at a higher cost of living. When they live in the
These days
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are relocating from rural areas to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
cities. There are several advantages and disadvantages when moving from native place to new town.

The few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things in relocating to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
cities.
Firstly
, they will be
easily
accessible to their basic needs. When they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
areas it could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to travel
easily
from one place to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
another and
they have access to the new environment.
As a result
, they will adapt to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
environment and
also
they can fulfil their day to day more
easily
.
In addition
to that, their kids and families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
schools and health care facilities.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
their kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
quality education it
The word 'en' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
will en
route their future possibilities.

Having said that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages
also
exist when they relocate from villages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
cities.
Firstly
, they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
at a higher cost of living. When they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the

IELTS essay Many people are moving from villages to urban centers lately. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
150 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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