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In the era of compitition, people should know various skills to withstand against competitors.

In the era of compitition, people should know various skills to withstand against competitors. 8gbqG
In the era of compitition, people should know various skills to withstand against competitors. Students can get benifit when they have multitasking personality. For such reasons, it is batter idea to keep art classes in education system, whereas opponents thinks that it is not worthy. However, I completely agree with the former view. To begin with, art is very crucial subject for students, also it brings lots of advantages to their career. There are number of arts activities, by which institute can teach their pupils, such as dance, music, paintings, craft work etcetera. The first and foremost reason to keep art session is, it enhance the creativity and imagination power of the child. For instance, if child learn art skills at very early age, then he will be curious to learn more skills, and at that age they do not have other responsibilities. Hence, they can gain it very easily. Consequently, it increases the visualisation power of student. Secondly, various art skills can preserve our culture and tradition. In particular, people who knows the diamond cutting, shaping, handicraft making, hand made clothing are very rare nowadays. Thirdly, throught activities, people can express their ideas, and thinking to other people. In particular, people shares their positive thinking by means of painting, dance, music and drama. To add, painting competition held by school to show their feelings. Moreover, many students end up with great career in art activities. For instance, they can make career in cricket, singing, or else nowadays, citizens are earning extra income by creativity such as, craft making, cake making, and wall art. Additionally, the selling and marketing is also very easy with social media. On the other hand, few parents opine that they are just wasting their money in art activities. Although there are number of positive effects of arts, they think that school should invest in some other subjects classes. To begin, some parents have mind set that, students can not make bright future in such activities. For example, they think that their children can be successfull only, if they will become a doctor or an engineer. Further, they think their child will get addicted to activities, so he can not focus on studies. For instance, not every child have intrest in art and craft works, therefore they end up with dissatisfaction and failure. To conclude, people must support to art activities in schools, because it gives wast benifits to graduate's life. Moreover, it is necessary to focus on child that, in what subject they have intrest. Lastly, they will end up with the great career.
In the era of
Possible spelling mistake found.
compitition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should know various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to withstand against competitors.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifit
when they have multitasking personality. For such reasons, it is batter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
classes in education system, whereas opponents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinks
that it is not worthy.
However
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial subject for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
also
it brings lots of advantages to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. There are number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, by which institute can teach their pupils, such as dance, music, paintings, craft work etcetera. The
first
and foremost reason to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
session is, it
Did you mean "enhances"?
enhance
the creativity and imagination power of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
For instance
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early age, then he will be curious to learn more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, and at that age they do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
responsibilities.
Hence
, they can gain it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
.
Consequently
, it increases the
Possible spelling mistake. 'visualisation' is British English.
visualisation
power of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
.
Secondly
, various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
can preserve our culture and tradition.
In particular
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "know"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
knows
the diamond cutting, shaping, handicraft making, hand made clothing are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rare nowadays.
Thirdly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
throught
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can express their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, and thinking to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In particular
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
shares
their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
thinking by means of painting, dance, music and drama. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
, painting competition held by school to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their feelings.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
For instance
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
in cricket, singing, or else nowadays, citizens are earning extra income by creativity such as, craft making, cake making, and wall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
.
Additionally
, the selling and marketing is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy with social media.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, few parents opine that they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
wasting their money in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. Although there are number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that school should invest in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
subjects classes. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents have mind set that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
bright future in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
For example
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that their children can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
successfull
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, if they will become a doctor or an engineer.
Further
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he can not focus on studies.
For instance
, not every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
intrest
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and craft works,
therefore
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with dissatisfaction and failure.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
support to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in schools,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it gives wast
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifits
to graduate's life.
Moreover
, it is necessary to focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
that, in what subject they have
Possible spelling mistake found.
intrest
.
Lastly
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with the great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.

IELTS essay In the era of compitition, people should know various skills to withstand against competitors.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
429 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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