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Many people are doing their shopping in the internet nowadays. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of shopping online?

Many people are doing their shopping in the internet nowadays. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of shopping online? DPBE
In this corporate world, numerous people has been purchasing products and things from the various online platforms. However, both its has own merits and drawbacks. In this essay, my inclination is justified in the forthcoming paragraphs. On the first place, there are several number of benefits to buy products by different types of application on mobile phones. First and foremost, in this globalization era, there are plethora of application which is very useful and provides different types of discount and give the rewards. Secondly, buy an immense of various things such as commodities, electronic gadgets, cloths and stationary so on, which is easily available on various application like amazon, filpkart, club factory and paytm. Therefore, without go to market and shopping mall human can easily make order in twenty four hours and also they can save time from their hectic schedule. For instance, 23. 8% of indian people brought various things from the e-commerce as per times of india report in 2019. On the flipe side, because of an online shopping, an unemployment and windows stores are being close due to the internet merchandising and wholesaling. Moreover, some citizens selling different products without any trade mark and duplicate goods, so that which is major drawback for those who brought on online platforms. To addition this, street hawkers and merchant man earn less money owing to this, hence authorities should be think about for local businessman. For example, 18. 3℅ people were loss their job at chandani chock bazar in delhi due to e-commerce in 2019. To put in nutshell, high tech in commercial sectors has given to comfortability of purchasing products which it save time. On other side, some drawback is that product quality becoming more and more less. citizens should choose product on their right mind which is better option for their.
In this corporate world, numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
been purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and things from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
online platforms.
However
, both its has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits and drawbacks. In this essay, my inclination
is justified
in the forthcoming paragraphs.

On the
first
place, there are
Possible agreement error. The noun number seems to be countable; consider using: "several numbers".
several number
of benefits to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of application on mobile phones.
First
and foremost, in this globalization era, there are plethora of application which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful and provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of discount and give the rewards.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
The phrase 'an immense of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'an' and 'of'.
an immense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
things such as commodities, electronic gadgets, cloths and stationary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, which is
easily
available on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
application like
Possible spelling mistake found.
amazon
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
filpkart
, club factory and
Possible spelling mistake found.
paytm
.
Therefore
, without go to market and shopping mall human can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
order in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
twenty four
hours and
also
they can save time from their hectic schedule.
For instance
, 23. 8% of
Possible spelling mistake found.
indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
brought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
things from the e-commerce as per times of
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
report in 2019.

On the
Possible spelling mistake found.
flipe
side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of an online shopping, an unemployment and windows stores are being close due to the internet merchandising and wholesaling.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
citizens selling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
without any trade mark and duplicate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that which is major drawback for those who brought on online platforms.
Did you mean "in"?
To
addition this, street hawkers and merchant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
earn less money owing to this,
hence
authorities should be
Did you mean "thought"?
think
about for local businessman.
For example
, 18. 3℅
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were loss their job at
Possible spelling mistake found.
chandani
chock
Possible spelling mistake found.
bazar
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
delhi
due to e-commerce in 2019.

To put in nutshell, high tech in commercial sectors has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
comfortability
of purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which it
Did you mean "saves"?
save
time. On other side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawback is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
quality becoming more and
Use only "less" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more less
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
citizens
should choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
on their right mind which is better option for their.
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IELTS essay Many people are doing their shopping in the internet nowadays. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of shopping online?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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