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Many people are choosing finding information online rather than in books. Is this development positive or negative? v.1

Many people are choosing finding information online rather than in books. Is this development positive or negative? v. 1
In the recent decades, the environmental issues have become an increasingly hot topic, large amount of population concern about climate change, global warming and shortage of water. It is often argued that government and big corporation can change the situation whereas individual cannot. In my opinion, all of us should make every effort to change our habit to protect the planet. Although many people say that governments and large organization have the power and resources to improve the current situation, as the policy maker and guardian, they create anti-pollution laws and regulation to protect natural resources but ultimately rely on public support. Thus, the best way to make the world a better place for humanity is to educate people to have a responsible and respectful attitude towards the natural resources. In fact, the role of individuals in prevention of pollution is of critical importance, because it is the individuals that make a community or country. In particular, people should reduce creating waste and garbage, use green products and public transportation and eventually lower the carbon footprint. In conclusion, aware and inspired individuals are the strongest tool to deal with pollution. This is because they not only lessens the burden of the country, but also can tackle the problem of pollution more effectively as they are more familiar with problems persisting at local level. Clearly, environment protection is a practice of protecting the environment on individual, organizational, and governmental level, it should be implemented from top to bottom level so that we would have a healthy and sustainable environment to live.
In the recent decades, the environmental issues have become an
increasingly
hot topic, large amount of population concern about climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, global warming and shortage of water. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
corporation can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the situation whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
cannot. In my opinion, all of us should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
every effort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our habit to protect the planet.

Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and large organization have the power and resources to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation, as the
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
policy maker
and guardian, they create anti-pollution laws and regulation to protect natural resources
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
ultimately
rely on public support.
Thus
, the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the world a better place for humanity is to educate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to have a responsible and respectful attitude towards the natural resources.

In fact, the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
in prevention of pollution is of critical importance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a community or country.
In particular
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
creating waste and garbage,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
green products and public transportation and
eventually
lower the carbon footprint.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
conclusion, aware and inspired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are the strongest tool to deal with pollution. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
lessens the burden of the country,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can tackle the problem of pollution more
effectively
as they are more familiar with problems persisting at local level.
Clearly
, environment protection is a practice of protecting the environment on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
, organizational, and governmental level, it should
be implemented
from top to bottom level
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we would have a healthy and sustainable environment to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people are choosing finding information online rather than in books. Is this development positive or negative? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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