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Many people are afraid that foreign cultures introduced through movies, music, social networks, or lifestyles may discourage the young from maintaining their native cultural identity. To what extent do you agree or disagree. Write an essay to give your opinion.

Many people are afraid that foreign cultures introduced through movies, music, social networks, or lifestyles may discourage the young from maintaining their native cultural identity. Write an essay to give your opinion. 0B1d9
Many people believe that the importation of foreign cultures through movies, music, social networks, or lifestyles inevitably leads to the total loss of cultural identity, especially with the young. I completely disagree with this opinion. To begin with, family roots are inherited from their parents in their blood. As long as they are raised in the communities with their parents' identical cultures, they will nurture to admire and respect their own identities. Routine practices in the ethical group such as language, beliefs, clothing, and foods are carried on from generation to the next one. As a result, the young will be guided by the elders to maintain their native cultures without being affected by other novel cultures which have been slightly introduced. Besides, people can also realize how they are different from others in distant lands, which may lead to their interest in learning about other cultures. This means every culture will have to preserve and present its unique features such as local cuisine or craftsmanship to maintain foreign interest in itself and have something to offer in competition with other communities. Thus, a sense of cultural identity can be reinforced – even rekindled and restored where it has already been lost. In conclusion, the arrival of new cultures will only broaden people's horizontal knowledge and make inhabitants' lives more colorful, and traditional customs will be well preserved by local inhabitants due to above reasons.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the importation of foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
through movies, music, social networks, or lifestyles
inevitably
leads to the total loss of cultural identity,
especially
with the young. I completely disagree with this opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, family roots
are inherited
from their parents in their blood. As long as they
are raised
in the communities with their parents' identical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, they will nurture to admire and respect their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
identities. Routine practices in the ethical group such as language, beliefs, clothing, and foods
are carried
on from generation to the
next
one.
As a result
, the young will
be guided
by the elders to maintain their native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
without being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
novel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
which have been
slightly
introduced.

Besides
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
also
realize how they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from others in distant lands, which may lead to their interest in learning about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. This means every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
preserve and present its unique features such as local cuisine or craftsmanship to maintain foreign interest in itself and have something to offer in competition with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
communities.
Thus
, a sense of cultural identity can
be reinforced
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
even rekindled and restored where it has already
been lost
.

In conclusion
, the arrival of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
broaden
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's horizontal knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
inhabitants'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
more colorful, and traditional customs will be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well preserved
by local inhabitants due to above reasons.
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IELTS essay Many people are afraid that foreign cultures introduced through movies, music, social networks, or lifestyles may discourage the young from maintaining their native cultural identity. Write an essay to give your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
235 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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