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Many people and scientists believe that playing video games is a waste of time and energy for the children and since the children are the cornerstone of a bright future for a prosprose society, they should not be allowed to play them. With that being said

Many people and scientists believe that playing video games is a waste of time and energy for the children and since the children are the cornerstone of a bright future for a prosprose society, they should not be allowed to play them. With that being said LrEMK
According to the passage there has been two main theories about the reasons why sea otter population started declining. The first theory is environmental pollution and the second theory is attacks by predators. Three main reasons to support the first theory where discussed in the passage and also based on the lecture, answers have been provided for each reason and all of aformentioned reasons and responses will be addressed in next paragraphs. The first mentioned reason based on the first theory for atter declining was that there has been water samples that shows the polluted water in the area. The professor provides a solid example that if that was true then dead bodies of animal should've been found by the shore, while there was never anything found, on the other hand the fact that no dead bodies were found supports the second theory that states that the predators are the reason for population decline. The second reason is that even if the predators were the reason of this trajedy, the effect should've been on other sea mammals as well, but the facts say otherwise. According to the professor the change of diet in orca actually may cause this phenamenon since the whales were in danger because of humans they left and then the orca needed to feed on sea otters. Finally the third reason states that because the pollution is more concentrated on some areas and not on others, it explains that why the population density is lower in that areas. This claime is answered easily, since the predators tend to hunt where they can easily go and hunt, therefore the sea otter population in deep waters has declined but not in shallow waters where they can not go easily.
According to the passage there has been two main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theories
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
otter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
declining. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theory
is environmental pollution and the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theory
is attacks by predators. Three main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
to support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theory
where discussed in the passage and
also
based on the lecture, answers have
been provided
for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
and all of
Possible spelling mistake found.
aformentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
and responses will
be addressed
in
next
paragraphs.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
based on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theory
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
atter
declining was that there has been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
samples that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the polluted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in the area. The professor provides a solid example that if that was true then dead bodies of animal should've
been found
by the shore, while there was never anything found,
on the other hand
the fact that no dead bodies
were found
supports the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theory
that states that the predators are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
decline.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that even if the predators were the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of this
Possible spelling mistake found.
trajedy
, the effect should've been on other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
mammals
as well
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the facts say
otherwise
. According to the professor the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of diet in orca actually may cause this
Possible spelling mistake found.
phenamenon
since the whales were in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of humans they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
and then the orca needed to feed on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
otters.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
states that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the pollution is more concentrated on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas and not on others, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
that why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
density is lower in that areas. This
Possible spelling mistake found.
claime
is answered
easily
, since the predators tend to hunt where they can
easily
go and hunt,
therefore
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
otter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in deep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waters
has declined
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not in shallow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waters
where they can not go
easily
.

IELTS essay Many people and scientists believe that playing video games is a waste of time and energy for the children and since the children are the cornerstone of a bright future for a prosprose society, they should not be allowed to play them. With that being said

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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