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Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first sentence. Why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem? v.1

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first sentence. Why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem? v. 1
Crimes are repeatedly committed by a large number of first-time criminals after being released due to deficiencies in rehabilitation while in prison and a mix of new offenders with other criminals who can be a negative influence. As a consequence, there are several solutions which ought to be considered to address this issue. There are two main reasons why first-time offenders commit offences again after leaving from prison. Firstly, there is a lack of rehabilitation whilst in prison. In other words, inmates are not given a chance to retrain essential skills for their future career and to develop a deeper understanding about appropriate moral norms. As a result, after being punished for the first time, offenders usually struggle financially owing to the difficulty in maintaining regular employment and therefore tend to reoffend regardless of knowing the consequences. Another reason for repeat offenders is indiscriminate mixing of minor offenders with hardened criminals. By doing this, there is a growing tendency for the low-level offenders to rub off on the higher-level prisoner, causing an escalation in deviant behavior for new inmates. The problem of reoffending can be solved by two effective solutions. One method to tackle this issue is to offer an opportunity to take part in educational and vocational training to all prisoner. Inmates can participate in a wide range of courses and activities such as cooking, painting, needlework crafting, and volunteering, for example. This ensures a job for offenders after being released, which enables them to avoid financial issues and consequently to be reintegrated into society. Another way is that criminals should be separately incarcerated according to the type of crimes. For instance, both petty and indictable criminals ought to be imprisoned in different prison cells, resulting in preventing the low-level prisoners from adverse influences which have been able to be mainly driven by the high-level offenders. In conclusion, it is clear that there are various reasons for first-time criminals to recommit offences after they have been released. Hence, in order to cope with this matter, acquiring useful skills needed for the workplace and separating the offenders based on the category of offences should be implemented.
Crimes are
repeatedly
committed by
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
first
-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
after
being released
due to deficiencies in rehabilitation while in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
and a mix of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
who can be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence. As a consequence, there are several solutions which ought to
be considered
to address this issue.

There are two main reasons why
first
-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
commit
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
again after leaving from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
.
Firstly
, there is a lack of rehabilitation whilst in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
.
In other words
, inmates are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a chance to retrain essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for their future career and to develop a deeper understanding about appropriate moral norms.
As a result
, after
being punished
for the
first
time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
usually
struggle
financially
owing to the difficulty in maintaining regular employment and
therefore
tend to
Possible spelling mistake found.
reoffend
regardless of knowing the consequences. Another reason for repeat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
is indiscriminate mixing of minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
with hardened
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
. By doing this, there is a growing tendency for the low-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
to rub off on the higher-level prisoner, causing an escalation in deviant behavior for new inmates.

The problem of
Possible spelling mistake found.
reoffending
can
be solved
by two effective solutions. One method to tackle this issue is to offer an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in educational and vocational training to all prisoner. Inmates can participate in a wide range of courses and activities such as cooking, painting, needlework crafting, and volunteering,
for example
. This ensures a job for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
after
being released
, which enables them to avoid financial issues and
consequently
to
be reintegrated
into society. Another way is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should be
separately
incarcerated according to the type of crimes.
For instance
, both petty and indictable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
ought to
be imprisoned
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
cells, resulting in preventing the low-level prisoners from adverse influences which have been able to be
mainly
driven by the high-level offenders.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there are various reasons for
first
-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to recommit
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
after they have
been released
.
Hence
, in order to cope with this matter, acquiring useful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
needed for the workplace and separating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
based on the category of
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
should
be implemented
.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first sentence. Why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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