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Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

In many countries, criminality has gone beyond the alarming rate. The main reason for increase recidivism is lack of rehabilitation while in prison and difficulty in finding employment after being released. This essay will examine the reasons for this and propose some viable solutions. First and foremost reason which often leads to recommit the crime is simply locking up criminals in prison without resources to reform them. It has been observed that locking up all type of offenders in the same jail encourages them to commit more serious crimes. A survey conducted stated that minor criminal involves in major crimes as they share their ideas with other culprits which will strengthen their wrong intentions. Another reason is lack of equal job availability in society to former inmates is quite evident. To illustrate, majority of employers deny giving job or social support to a known convicts owing to lack of trust on them. This social outlook and discrimination leave them with no other option than rejoining the crime group for their survival. However, government should regulate stringent laws for incarceration and ensures to keep the perpetrators of different crimes in separate cell during imprisonment. Moreover, rehabilitation makes it easier for them to reintegrate back into the society. To illustrate, Iran has library setups in all of its jails and have heavily paid tutors to educate criminal. Similarly, in Holland prisoners have access to plenty of skill development programs which helps them contribute to the society in future. Furthermore, creating adequate job opportunities for offenders after receiving punishment appears to be the most effective method, since this assures reasonable income and social status. Having discussed above, it could be said in conclusion that governments ought to adopt various approaches, particularly increasing job and education opportunities to reverse the growing trend of crime in the foreseeable future.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, criminality has gone beyond the alarming rate. The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for increase recidivism is lack of rehabilitation while in prison and difficulty in finding employment after
being released
. This essay will examine the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for this and propose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
viable solutions.

First
and foremost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leads to recommit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is
simply
locking up criminals in prison without resources to reform them. It has
been observed
that locking up all type of offenders in the same jail encourages them to commit more serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. A survey conducted stated that minor criminal involves in major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
as they share their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
with other culprits which will strengthen their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
intentions. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is lack of equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
availability in society to former inmates is quite evident. To illustrate,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
employers deny giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or social support to a known convicts owing to lack of trust on them. This social outlook and discrimination
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
them with no other option than rejoining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
group for their survival.

However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should regulate stringent laws for incarceration and ensures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the perpetrators of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in separate cell during imprisonment.
Moreover
, rehabilitation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easier for them to reintegrate back into the society. To illustrate, Iran has library setups in all of its jails and have
heavily
paid tutors to educate criminal.
Similarly
, in Holland prisoners have access to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
development programs which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them contribute to the society
The phrase ‘in future’ is British English. Did you mean: “in the future”?
in future
.
Furthermore
, creating adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities for offenders after receiving punishment appears to be the most effective method, since this assures reasonable income and social status.

Having discussed above, it could
be said
in conclusion
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
ought to adopt various approaches,
particularly
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and education opportunities to reverse the growing trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in the foreseeable future.
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IELTS essay Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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