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Many of the countries believe that international tourism has harmful effects. Why do they think so ?what can be done to change their views?

Many of the countries believe that international tourism has harmful effects. Why do they think so? what can be done to change their views? Leo8
Despite the fact that tourism industry has contributed effectively to the economy of many countries worldwide, international tourism is believed to have some negative effects. The purpose of this essay is to discuss on possible reasons and to recommend some manners to change that belief. The development of multinational tourism has been raising people's concerns not only on pollution but also on the disappearance of local traditional culture. Firstly, it is undeniable that tourists are attracted by the beauty of undiscovered places, such as desert islands, villages in tropical jungles, and the development of tourism in those places has caused the negative consequence to its natural environment because of garbage from non-locals' activities. Secondly, the locals in those tourist attractions tend to give up on their traditional customs. Inhabitants are likely to establish new services, which conflict with their traditional customs, to earn their livelihood and to make tourists comfortable, such as massage and karaoke services. This occurrence is contributing to the process of losing the native traditional culture. In order to change the negative views on tourism development, there are plenty of approaches. On the one hand, authorities in these tourist attractions, who are responsible for the sustainable development of the local tourism industry, should be in collaboration with local citizens in making regulations to orient their tourism development. The regulations for tourists including punishment should be stated clearly to reduce the pollution caused by tourists' activities. On the other hand, being aware of traditional culture preservation is the most effective way to attract tourists, not the non-traditional services operated to adapt the visitors' demands. In conclusion, although there are many undeniable negative effects caused by international tourism development, such as environmental pollution and decreasing of native traditional culture, lots of solutions could be implemented by locals and government to change the negative views on effects of tourism.
Despite the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry has contributed
effectively
to the economy of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries worldwide, international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is believed
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
effects. The purpose of this essay is to discuss on possible reasons and to recommend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
manners to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
that belief.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has been raising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's concerns not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on pollution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on the disappearance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
culture.
Firstly
, it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
are attracted
by the beauty of undiscovered places, such as desert islands, villages in tropical jungles, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
in those places has caused the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
The usual preposition to use after "consequence" is not "to". Did you mean "consequence of", "consequence for", or "consequence on"?
consequence to
its natural environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of garbage from non-locals' activities.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
attractions tend to give up on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
customs. Inhabitants are likely to establish new services, which conflict with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
customs, to earn their livelihood and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
comfortable, such as massage and karaoke services. This occurrence is contributing to the process of losing the native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
culture.

In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
views on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of approaches. On the one hand, authorities in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
attractions, who are responsible for the sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry, should be in collaboration with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
citizens in making regulations to orient their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. The regulations for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
including punishment should
be stated
clearly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the pollution caused by tourists' activities.
On the other hand
, being aware of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
culture preservation is the most effective way to attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
, not the non-traditional services operated to adapt the visitors' demands.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
undeniable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
effects caused by international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
, such as environmental pollution and decreasing of native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
culture, lots of solutions could
be implemented
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
views on effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
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IELTS essay Many of the countries believe that international tourism has harmful effects. Why do they think so? what can be done to change their views?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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