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Many jobs in the home nowadays can be done by machines. Has it brought more advantages than disadvantages? v.1

Many jobs in the home nowadays can be done by machines. Has it brought more advantages than disadvantages? v. 1
Aviation is one of the most significant travel mediums. A few individuals think that in coming years air travel will be decreased. There might be few advantages of this, but there would definitely be more problems owing to this. This essay will cover some of the benefits and drawbacks of this development. It is irrefutable to say that aircrafts use petroleum, which is a non-renewable source of energy. In addition to this, due to carbon emissions produced by aeroplanes, our environment is deteriorating day by day. The reduction in air traffic will certainly save this resource and our environment too. Electric vehicles are available nowadays, but electric planes are the hot topic that everyone is still discussing and it will take around decades to visualize them. Until then electric automobiles can be promoted to use. On the other hand, if air travel reduces, there will be a significant surge in road traffic. As all the people who use air as travel medium will start taking road route and there will be a massive influx of vehicles on the streets. Also, It will adversely affect the economy of the country. Since, a lot of tourists visit to other countries during vacations. Without air transport, it will be unlikely that they plan to visit remote destinations. To cite an instance, people can travel three to four countries in Europe with the use of aeroplanes and this would not be possible otherwise. To conclude, though reducing air traffic helps in improving the environment, but it will have a negative effect on the economy and people will witness more chaotic roads.
Aviation is one of the most significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
mediums. A few individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that in coming years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
will
be decreased
. There might be few advantages of this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there would definitely be more problems owing to this. This essay will cover
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
benefits and drawbacks of this development.

It is irrefutable to say that
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "aircraft", the plural form of the noun 'aircraft'?
aircrafts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
petroleum, which is a non-renewable source of energy.
In addition
to this, due to carbon emissions produced by
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplanes' is British English.
aeroplanes
, our environment is deteriorating day by day. The reduction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
traffic will
certainly
save this resource and our environment too. Electric vehicles are available nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
electric
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
are the hot topic that everyone is
still
discussing and it will take around decades to visualize them.
“Until” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Until
then electric automobiles can
be promoted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.

On the other hand
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
, there will be a significant surge in road traffic. As all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
medium will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
taking road route and there will be a massive influx of vehicles on the streets.
Also
, It will
adversely
affect the economy of the country.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
tourists visit to other countries during vacations. Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
transport, it will be unlikely that they plan to visit remote destinations. To cite an instance,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
three to four countries in Europe with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplanes' is British English.
aeroplanes
and this would not be possible
otherwise
.

To conclude
, though reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in improving the environment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the economy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will witness more chaotic roads.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many jobs in the home nowadays can be done by machines. Has it brought more advantages than disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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