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Many hold a belief that the role of family in one’s life is more crucial than that of friends. From my perspective, I totally agree with this point of view and have several pieces of solid evidence to support it.

Many hold a belief that the role of family in one’s life is more crucial than that of friends. From my perspective, I totally agree with this point of view and have several pieces of solid evidence to support it. 1oryq
Many hold a belief that the role of family in one’s life is more crucial than that of friends. From my perspective, I totally agree with this point of view and have several pieces of solid evidence to support it. Firstly, it is noticeable that family members can nurture us since the day we were born but friends cannot. This is because grandparents and parents provide us not only food, shelter, education but also protection and unconditional love which cannot be received from friends. Hence, it may be a mistake to overlook the fact that without our family’s support, we are unlikely to survive alone until we have an independent life. For example, thanks to parents’ support, young students are able to afford tuition fee during their school life from nursery to tertiary education. This example is the illustration of the fact that family is of the most importance in the immature period of individual life. Secondly, another point that should be taken into account is the fact that family possibly gives us more help than friends do when we encounter difficulties in later life. The counter argument raised by the opponents to this is that people from the same age find it easier to understand one another, so they tend to give sound advice. This justification may be reasonable to some extent; however, it should be acknowledged that beside encouragement, the senior in family might help their offspring with other problems such as health issues, or financial crisis. As a result, family is more beneficial than friends even in the latter period of life. In conclusion, it seems to me that family is superior to friends in an individual’s life for the reasons mentioned above.
Many
hold a belief that the role of
family
in one’s
life
is more crucial than that of
friends
. From my perspective, I
totally
agree
with this point of view and have several pieces of solid evidence to support it.

Firstly
, it is noticeable that
family
members can nurture us since the day we
were born
but
friends
cannot. This is
because
grandparents and parents provide us not
only
food, shelter, education
but
also
protection and unconditional
love
which cannot
be received
from
friends
.
Hence
, it may be a mistake to overlook the fact that without our
family’s
support, we are unlikely to survive alone until we have an independent
life
.
For example
, thanks to parents’ support, young students are able to afford tuition fee during their school
life
from nursery to tertiary education. This example is the illustration of the fact that
family
is of the most importance in the immature period of individual life.

Secondly
, another point that should
be taken
into account is the fact that
family
possibly
gives us more
help
than
friends
do when we encounter difficulties in later
life
. The counter argument raised by the opponents to this is that
people
from the same age find it easier to understand one another,
so
they tend to give sound advice. This justification may be reasonable to
some
extent;
however
, it should
be acknowledged
that beside encouragement, the senior in
family
might
help
their offspring with other problems such as health issues, or financial crisis.
As a result
,
family
is more beneficial than
friends
even in the latter period of life.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that
family
is superior to
friends
in an individual’s
life
for the reasons mentioned above.
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IELTS essay Many hold a belief that the role of family in one’s life is more crucial than that of friends. From my perspective, I totally agree with this point of view and have several pieces of solid evidence to support it.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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