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Many governments spend large amounts of money funding major sporting events in their countries. Do you think this is a good use of public money? Should this money be used for other projects and services that society needs?

Many governments spend large amounts of money funding major sporting events in their countries. Do you think this is a good use of public money? Should this money be used for other projects and services that society needs? 6mbX3
Large sum of money are spend by most governments to fund huge sport events in their nations. I absolutely think that this is not a good way to use the public’s money and it should be used to fund other projects that are far more crucial to society. Countries often host huge sporting events once every year to attract attention from other countries. Athletes spend most of their training to be prepared for these kind of events and governments waste a lot of money to entertain their guests and to show how great their country is by building new arenas or stadiums. However, sometimes these stadiums are left uncared for after the event is finished, which is not a good use of money. On the other hand, the money that is spent by governments are mostly from taxes, which are paid by citizens of their countries. These money should benefit the people rather than to fund events that are not necessarily impactful to the public. Sporting events does not really do much to help the citizens, except for athletes. There are many ways to use the money, which comes from taxes, to give what society need. For example, make public transportations better, donate to charities or orphanages, create more scholarship programs, provide free healthcare to people with financial issues, and many more. To summarize, using the public’s money to fund large sport events is not worth it compared to using it to build more projects that profit and improve the society. Governments should focus on what their citizens want and need to make their countries better. When a country welcomes cultural differences, the country’s culture might change as a result from being influenced by other culture, which makes the culture lose its originality and its uniqueness. Culture, which is created our ancestors, has been maintained by generations to keep it alive and unforgotten so changing them not only would be hard for elders adapt but it would also be disrespectful to our ancestors. It is better to follow the country’s local ways because it is a sign of respect to the countries culture. Moreover, a new knowledge is gain about other cultures. The people in the country would also be pleased to see a foreigner behaving or doing things how they do it. Culture shock would not happen to anyone who follow the local ways of a country. The environment around would be more peaceful and easier as well. Not only does the people are pleased and happy, they might want to learn more about your culture because you do something in a similar way as them. In conclusion, accepting the local customs is more beneficial to both visitors and host country. Although, cultural differences has its own pros, doing things the local way is better. When people do the same things in the same way over and over again, at the end, the result could be perfect because it has been done repeatedly. Another benefit from this is that our brains have memorized what to do or how to do something so we could easily multitask. Moreover, our daily life becomes more organized and predictable, which can help to keep track of what we do every day. A real life example would be my school schedule because it has been properly set to be followed every week. Due to the schedule, I now can instantly remember what my next class is and prepare myself earlier. On the other hand, change can give us the thrill of not knowing what will happen next. Sometimes change could bring a better outcome but it could also not be what we expect. But if the outcome is bad, we know what we should avoid and we gain more knowledge. For instance, I tried to change my hairstyle last year, but after the hairdresser finished, my hair does not suit me and I learned that I will not try that hairstyle again. But when we change the way of doing things and the result is great, we can use the new technique to do things more efficiently and less time consuming. To conclude, people have their own opinions about whether change is a good or a bad. However, I personally think the arguments that change is better, outweighs the opposing arguments.
Large sum of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
are
Consider using a past participle here: "spent".
spend
by most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
huge sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
in their nations. I
absolutely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
projects that are far more crucial to society.

Countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
host huge sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
once every year to attract attention from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Athletes spend most of their training to
be prepared
for
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
waste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to entertain their guests and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how great their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is by building new arenas or stadiums.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
these stadiums are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
Possible spelling mistake found.
uncared
for after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
is finished
, which is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of money.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that
is spent
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are
mostly
from taxes, which
are paid
by citizens of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rather
than to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
that are not
necessarily
impactful to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
. Sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
does not
really
do much to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the citizens,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
athletes. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from taxes, to give what society need.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
, donate to charities or orphanages, create more scholarship programs, provide free healthcare to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with financial issues, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.

To summarize
, using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
large sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is not worth it compared to using it to build more projects that profit and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
should focus on what their citizens want and need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
better.

When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
welcomes cultural differences, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
as a result
from
being influenced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
lose its originality and its uniqueness.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Culture
, which
is created
our ancestors, has
been maintained
by generations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it alive and unforgotten
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
changing them not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for elders adapt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it would
also
be disrespectful to our ancestors.

It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of respect to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
Moreover
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "new knowledge".
a new knowledge
is gain about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
would
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
pleased
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a foreigner behaving or doing things how they do it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Culture
shock would not happen to anyone who follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. The environment around would be more peaceful and easier
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
well. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
pleased
and happy, they might want to learn more about your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you do something in a similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
as them.

In conclusion
, accepting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
customs is more beneficial to both visitors and host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Although, cultural differences has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pros, doing things the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
is better.

When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do the same things in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
over and over again, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, the result could be perfect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has
been done
repeatedly
. Another benefit from this is that our brains have memorized what to do or how to do something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we could
easily
multitask.
Moreover
, our daily life becomes more organized and predictable, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of what we do every day. A real life example would be my school schedule
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has been
properly
set to
be followed
every week. Due to the schedule, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
can
instantly
remember what my
next
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
is and prepare myself earlier.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
can give us the thrill of not knowing what will happen
next
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
could bring a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
outcome
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it could
also
not be what we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if the outcome is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
, we know what we should
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
avoid and
we gain more knowledge.
For instance
, I tried to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
my hairstyle last year,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after the hairdresser finished, my hair does not suit me and I learned that I will not try that hairstyle again.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
of doing things and the result is great, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the new technique to do things more
efficiently
and less
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinions about whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.
However
, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the arguments that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
, outweighs the opposing arguments.
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IELTS essay Many governments spend large amounts of money funding major sporting events in their countries. Do you think this is a good use of public money? Should this money be used for other projects and services that society needs?

Essay
  American English
10 paragraphs
717 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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