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CRIME RATES WILL FALL AS ADVANCE IN TECHNOLOGY MAKE IT EASIER TO DETECT AND PREVENT CRIMES. TO WHAT EXTENTS DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

CRIME RATES WILL FALL AS ADVANCE IN TECHNOLOGY MAKE IT EASIER TO DETECT AND PREVENT CRIMES. b25GY
Use of new technology has come up with more help to society including giving justice to innocent. New technology has bring innovative way to drag the criminals behind the bars. This essay will discuss that advance in techno products has definitely help to decrease crime rates and made it easy to detect and prevent the crime before its undertaken. People are worried about their cash or expansive ornaments which are left alone in house, while they are not at home. Because, old constructed house don’t have modern instruments to protect the belongings. Some people think thief which have intension to do the robber has already got a hold on the latest technology and they might use it while housebreaking. For example, the cctv camera which has been installed to prevent the robbery is been use my thieves to keep any eye on the target. For all this reason some of them think advance in technology won’t make enough of effort and risk of housebreaking may involve. Despite some of the menial risks involved, using upgraded version of technology will always give best result to prevent the crime or to detect it. By the use of upgraded software in the techno devises which will cut the grip on the device used by the theft and will make the buglers devices useless. For example USA police headquarters announced last which, by continually improving their systems and solving the bugs on it, they were succeed in prevent five crimes and got hold on 3 trespassers. Concluding it, advance in technology will defiantly makes smooth detection of crime and also prevent crime which will bring crime rate to the ground. This essay argued that crime rates with the help of advance machinery and software has acted as a barrier to the crime and has brought down the injustice graph. In my opinion illegal activity will be facing problem and may shut down in future as the development in technology is done.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Use
of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to society including giving justice to innocent. New
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
Use past participle here: "brought".
bring
innovative way to drag the criminals behind the bars. This essay will discuss that advance in techno products has definitely
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "helped".
help
to decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates and made it easy to detect and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
its undertaken.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are worried
about their cash or expansive ornaments which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
alone in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, while they are not at home.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
constructed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
don’t have modern instruments to protect the belongings.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
thief which have
Possible spelling mistake found.
intension
to do the robber has already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a hold on the latest
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
technology and
they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it while housebreaking.
For example
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
cctv
camera which has
been installed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
the robbery
is been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
my thieves to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
any eye on the target. For all this reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
advance in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
won’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
of effort and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of housebreaking may involve.

Despite
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
menial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
involved, using upgraded version of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will always
A determiner is probably missing here: "give the best".
give best
result to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
or to detect it. By the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of upgraded software in the techno devises which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
the grip on the device
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the theft and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the buglers devices useless.
For example
USA police headquarters announced last which, by
continually
improving their systems and solving the bugs on it, they were
Consider using a past participle here: "succeeded".
succeed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
hold on 3 trespassers. Concluding it, advance in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will
defiantly
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "make"
makes
smooth detection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
which will bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate to the ground.

This essay argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of advance machinery and software has acted as a barrier to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and has brought down the injustice graph. In my opinion illegal activity will be facing problem and may shut down in future as the development in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is done
.
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IELTS essay CRIME RATES WILL FALL AS ADVANCE IN TECHNOLOGY MAKE IT EASIER TO DETECT AND PREVENT CRIMES.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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