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Indifference to patients and an emphasis on high-cost outstanding work are becoming more frequent.Indifference to patients and an emphasis on high-cost outstanding work are becoming more frequent.Indifference to patients and an emphasis on high-cost outstanding work are becoming more frequent.Indifference to patients and an emphasis on high-cost outstanding work are becoming more frequent.

Indifference to patients and an emphasis on high-cost outstanding work are becoming more frequent. Indifference to patients and an emphasis on high-cost outstanding work are becoming more frequent. Indifference to patients and an emphasis on high-cost outstanding work are becoming more frequent. Indifference to patients and an emphasis on high-cost outstanding work are becoming more frequent. NwgY2
Health is the most important aspect of human existence, and it must be addressed and improved on a regular basis. However, individuals are presently more concerned with generating money than with health care. In my perspective, I strongly believe that creating a bundle has attracted a large number of citizens for a variety of reasons related to money, owing to the fact that failing to care for one's health is dangerous and deserving of condemnation. On the one hand, it is obvious that money has been becoming the most powerful transaction that has the ability to determine the existence of doctors due to their value. To be more specific, in this modern era, a plethora of doctors are being manipulated to best serve the plastic surgery jobs while indifferent to other individuals, which directly affects the balance in medical examination. Besides, numerous scholars have pointed out that the issues above are almost inevitable because a huge number of hospitals around the world are gradually having a situation that threatens the safety of doctors. On the other hand, in some cases, the aforementioned acts are becoming illegal due to their imbalance in the medical examination. More specifically, in the health business, particularly when it comes to medical examination and treatment, each individual has the chance to be evaluated without regard for wealth or poverty. However, the issues above can be addressed effectively by a number of methods such as strengthening management of medical examination and treatment. Indeed, with the impact of the governments, preventing illegal acts will be optimized without much effort being spent. In conclusion, it is undeniable that indifference to patients and an emphasis on high-cost outstanding work are becoming more frequent. However, the aforementioned issues have both positive and negative sides, which can be addressed effectively. However, the question of whether or not these underground acts are thoroughly handled still remains unanswered.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect of human existence, and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be addressed
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
on a regular basis.
However
, individuals are
presently
more concerned with generating money than with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care. In my perspective, I
strongly
believe that creating a bundle has attracted
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
citizens for a variety of reasons related to money, owing to the fact that failing to care for one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and deserving of condemnation.

On the one hand, it is obvious that money has been becoming the most powerful transaction that has the ability to determine the existence of doctors due to their value. To be more specific, in this modern era, a plethora of doctors are
being manipulated
to best serve the plastic surgery jobs while indifferent to other individuals, which
directly
affects the balance in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examination
.
Besides
, numerous scholars have pointed out that the issues above are almost inevitable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a huge number of hospitals around the world are
gradually
having a situation that threatens the safety of doctors.

On the other hand
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, the aforementioned acts are becoming illegal due to their imbalance in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examination
. More
specifically
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
business,
particularly
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examination
and treatment, each individual has the chance to
be evaluated
without regard for wealth or poverty.
However
, the issues above can
be addressed
effectively
by a number of methods such as strengthening management of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examination
and treatment.
Indeed
, with the impact of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
, preventing illegal acts will
be optimized
without much effort
being spent
.

In conclusion
, it is undeniable that indifference to patients and an emphasis on high-cost outstanding work are becoming more frequent.
However
, the aforementioned issues have both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides, which can
be addressed
effectively
.
However
,
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
the question of whether
or not these underground acts are
thoroughly
handled
still
remains unanswered.
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IELTS essay Indifference to patients and an emphasis on high-cost outstanding work are becoming more frequent. Indifference to patients and an emphasis on high-cost outstanding work are becoming more frequent. Indifference to patients and an emphasis on high-cost outstanding work are becoming more frequent. Indifference to patients and an emphasis on high-cost outstanding work are becoming more frequent.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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