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Many governments are investing less in roads and more in public transport systems. Do the advantage outweigh the disadvantage?

Many governments are investing less in roads and more in public transport systems. Do the advantage outweigh the disadvantage? aXn7
One of the most controversial issues today related to allocation of more money in public transports and less cash on roads by the government. In my opinion, the advantages of this tendency outweighs the drawbacks, because despite improving of roads can be more useful for country’s economy, it is more favorable for environment, this kind of investing prevents spread of natural problems such as air pollution. Those that mainly agree with this benefit point out of the fact that development of municipal transportation is more eco-friendly than improvement of highways by the putting up money of government. Particularly lack of roads would lead to less number of cars, which produce the significant part of air particles and harmful gases in the atmosphere such as CO, in comparison with public transports like subways, which use an electricity to move and do not increase the level of damaging gases in the atmosphere. A particularly good example here is case, when the government of Singapore decided to tackle problem of air pollution, to achieve their goal, the government refused from investing of cash in ways and started to develop system of public transportation. After few months level of pollutants in the atmosphere steadily dropped by just over a tenth. Consequently, the main advantage of this trend is helpful for solving some environmental issues. One major disadvantage is possible deterioration of republic’s economy. The main reason for believing this is that good roads guarantees the majority of people, who want to buy and use cars, subsequently the more cars are in town, the more petrol are required and sold. Usage of municipal transports cannot effect positively on economic system of country, because electricity does not cost much and price of ticket is not high to get economical profit. For instance, it is a wide-known fact that Germany’s national economy is based on car industry, there is no impact of public transportation, because of this, the government of Germany provides approximately 1 million euros for improving roads to cause more using of cars, and the government spends only 100000 euros for buying public transports. Therefore, developed countries pay attention to improvement of roads to get income in the future, because municipals transports cannot do more good, so this tendency can lead to degradation of economy. To sum up, despite less putting up money in roads can lead to lost of profit and negative effect on economy of country, I believe that investing cash in system of public transportation has more significant benefit like environmental friendliness.
One of the most controversial issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
related to allocation of more money in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
and less cash on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. In my opinion, the advantages of this tendency outweighs the drawbacks,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
despite improving of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
can be more useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
, it is more favorable for environment, this kind of investing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
spread of natural problems such as air pollution.

Those that
mainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this benefit point out of the fact that development of municipal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
is more eco-friendly than improvement of highways by the putting up money of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
Particularly
lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
would lead to less number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, which produce the significant part of air particles and harmful gases in the atmosphere such as CO,
in comparison
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
like subways, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
an electricity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
and do not increase the level of damaging gases in the atmosphere. A
particularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example here is case, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of Singapore decided to tackle problem of air pollution, to achieve their goal, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
refused from investing of cash in ways and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to develop system of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
few months level of pollutants in the atmosphere
steadily
dropped by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over a tenth.
Consequently
, the main advantage of this trend is helpful for solving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
environmental issues.

One major disadvantage is possible deterioration of republic’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
. The main reason for believing this is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
guarantees the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, who want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
,
subsequently
the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are in town, the more petrol
are required
and sold. Usage of municipal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
cannot effect
positively
on economic system of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
electricity does not cost much and price of ticket is not high to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
economical profit.
For instance
, it is a wide-known fact that Germany’s national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
is based
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
industry, there is no impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
,
because of this
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of Germany provides approximately 1 million euros for improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
to cause more using of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
spends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
100000 euros for buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
.
Therefore
, developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
pay attention to improvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
income in the future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
municipals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
cannot do more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this tendency can lead to degradation of economy.

To sum up, despite less putting up money in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
can lead to lost of profit and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, I believe that investing cash in system of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
has more significant benefit like environmental friendliness.
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Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Many governments are investing less in roads and more in public transport systems. Do the advantage outweigh the disadvantage?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
420 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 6.5
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    Present relevant ideas
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