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Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. LVm8
For years economic progress has been the sole focus of a lot of countries. While several governments think that this should continue to be the case, concomitantly there are people who believe different types of progress are as important. This essay shall review both these opinions and show why in my opinion a country’s economic progress is its most crucial task. A great number of governments view economic growth as the ultimate goal, a lot of people including myself share this opinion. However important other types of progress are, none are possible without a strong economy, this is essential for the correct functioning of a country and its people. For example, when a global medical emergency occurred the richer countries had enough funds to pay for healthcare and invest in vaccines, thus influencing directly the wellbeing of their populations which would be otherwise impossible. This is why I believe that economic progress has a direct impact on every aspect of a country’s development and so must be the main goal. Despite the opinion stated above, I can understand why there are various people that believe other types of progress to be equally essential. Whereas economic process should always be a positive outcome, there have been situations in which individuals have been periodically abandoned by their country in the name of progress. Illustrated ideally by the American healthcare system, which while being the most advanced in the world fails to help its most vulnerable citizens. Contrary to most situations economic progress has no led to an increase in health of the country, because of this it is not incorrect that sometimes economic progress has its negative sides. In conclusion, while it may have some issues I firmly believe that economic progress should be the most important goal of the government as it will ultimately help the country more than other types of progress would.
For years
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economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
has been the sole focus of
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a lot of
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countries
. While several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this should continue to be the case,
concomitantly
there are
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people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
are as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. This essay shall review both these
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opinions
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
why in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
is its most crucial task.

A great number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth as the ultimate goal,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
including myself share this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
are, none are possible without a strong economy, this is essential for the correct functioning of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, when a global medical emergency occurred the richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
funds to pay for healthcare and invest in vaccines,
thus
influencing
directly
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
of their populations which would be
otherwise
impossible. This is why I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
has a direct impact on every aspect of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
development and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be the main goal.

Despite the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
stated above, I can understand why there are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
to be
equally
essential. Whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
process should always be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcome, there have been situations in which individuals have been
periodically
abandoned by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in the name of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
. Illustrated
ideally
by the American healthcare system, which while being the most advanced in the world fails to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
its most vulnerable citizens. Contrary to most situations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
has no led to an increase in health of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
because of this
it is not incorrect that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
has its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides.

In conclusion
, while it may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues I
firmly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
should be the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
goal of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
as it will
ultimately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
more than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
would.
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If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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