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Many famous people are treated unfairly by the media. Should they be given more privacy?

Many famous people are treated unfairly by the media. Should they be given more privacy? Q5P2L
In this day and age, someone’s popularity is easily known to everyone due to the explosion of mass media. This entails some personal demerits such as their private life. I agree with those who believe that renowned people should be enjoyed their own peace. Admittedly, the momentary reputation always brings some merits. Specifically, celebrities get a great deal of public attention. This is also a way for them to make money from personal commercials or participate in big events through their widely popular image. To put it another way, wherever their glamorous presence brings them the amount of income. For illustration, tickets to prominent idol concerts are always sold out before the day of the performance. Additionally, even personal belongings or accessories used by them also object that fans are passionate about hunting to buy. However, there are still some detrimental issues in this phenomenon. Due to the fact that they are considered public figures, their lives are always taken care of by media and loyal fans. It leads to a serious lack of privacy in their own life. In other words, their daily love life becomes a common topic of discussion on internet sites and forums. Basically, the actions of these news hunters, also known as “paparazzi”, seriously affect confidential security and human rights, especially the mental life of celebrities. To put it in a nutshell, although the famous turn talented people into stars and gives them many advantages, there are still unexpected handicaps associated with their reclusive life.
In this day and age, someone’s popularity is
easily
known to everyone due to the explosion of mass media. This entails
some
personal demerits such as their private
life
. I
agree
with those who believe that renowned
people
should
be enjoyed
their
own
peace.

Admittedly
, the momentary reputation always brings
some
merits.
Specifically
, celebrities
get
a great deal of public attention. This is
also
a way for them to
make
money from personal commercials or participate in
big
events
through their
widely
popular image. To put it another way, wherever their glamorous presence brings them the amount of income. For illustration, tickets to prominent idol concerts are always sold out
before
the day of the performance.
Additionally
, even personal belongings or accessories
used
by them
also
object that fans are passionate about hunting to
buy
.

However
, there are
still
some
detrimental issues in this phenomenon. Due to the fact that they
are considered
public figures, their
lives
are always taken care of by media and loyal fans. It leads to a serious lack of privacy in their
own
life
.
In other words
, their daily
love
life
becomes a common topic of discussion on internet sites and forums.
Basically
, the actions of these news hunters,
also
known as “paparazzi”,
seriously
affect confidential security and human rights,
especially
the mental
life
of celebrities.

To put it in a nutshell, although the
famous
turn talented
people
into stars and gives them
many
advantages, there are
still
unexpected handicaps associated with their reclusive
life
.
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IELTS essay Many famous people are treated unfairly by the media. Should they be given more privacy?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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