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Nowadays, people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money. Some people think that it is better to give a larger wage to teachers and doctors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money. Some people think that it is better to give a larger wage to teachers and doctors. 7LdP3
There is a growing controversy that either film actors or businessmen are paid huge tons of money. Some people think that it is better to give a larger wage to teachers and doctors. In my opinion, I totally agree with it. I think this situation is reasonable，to some extent, as it is a result of the free market choice. Both of the film actors and company bosses who gain large amounts of money produce their creatures ，including attractive films and salable commodities, which are appreciated by audiences, customers, and capital. So that film actors or bosses could be paid more huge tons of money than teachers or doctors, which are the representation of the middle class. However, that also reflects the unfairness of society assignment. Compare teachers or doctors with people like film actors or business bosses, most of the former is obviously do more work but the salary they gain is far less than the vast majority of the latter, which is contracted with the original point of people that more pay for more work. For instance, an actor's remuneration for a movie is often equivalent to a teacher's salary for many years, even for some less famous ones, which sparks many debates among some of people. Thus, the government has a responsibility to control the salary gained by film actors and bosses by adjusting the market and the foam of capital, as well as increase the level of the wage of the people like teachers or doctors. Both teachers and doctors as a quiet very popular existence of the group of intellectual people, if they could gain more salary, that will be a huge encouragement for the adole scent, the children, stimulating more and more students to strive to study，and the sectors which are indeed helpful for the whole of society, including research institute, education industry, engineering and more, will possibly be enlarged. All of these could, promote more equitable social distribution. Also, if teachers and doctors are given larger wage, they may work harder, and both the students and patients could be benefited from that
There is a growing controversy that either film
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actors
or businessmen
are paid
huge tons of money.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is better to give a larger wage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
. In my opinion, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with it. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this situation is
The character '，' is not a standard comma, although it can look like a comma. Use "reasonable, to".
reasonable，to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, as it is a result of the free market choice.

Both of the film
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actors
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bosses
who gain large amounts of money produce their creatures
Possible spelling mistake found.
，including
attractive films and salable commodities, which
are appreciated
by audiences, customers, and capital.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that film
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actors
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bosses
could
be paid
more huge tons of money than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
, which are the representation of the middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

However
, that
also
reflects the unfairness of society assignment. Compare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like film
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actors
or business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bosses
, most of the former is
obviously
Consider using a past participle here: "done".
do
more work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
they gain is far less than the vast majority of the latter, which
is contracted
with the original point of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that more pay for more work.
For instance
, an actor's remuneration for a movie is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
equivalent to a teacher's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years, even for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
ones,

which sparks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
debates among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Thus
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has a responsibility to control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
gained by film
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actors
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bosses
by adjusting the market and the foam of capital,
as well
as increase the level of the wage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
. Both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
as a quiet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular existence of the group of intellectual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, if they could gain more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
, that will be a huge encouragement for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
adole scent
, the children, stimulating more and more students to strive to
The character '，' is not a standard comma, although it can look like a comma. Use "study, and".
study，and
the sectors which are
indeed
helpful for the whole of society, including research institute, education industry, engineering and more, will
possibly
be enlarged
. All of these could, promote more equitable social distribution.
Also
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
larger wage, they may work harder, and both the students and patients could
be benefited
from that
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IELTS essay Nowadays, people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money. Some people think that it is better to give a larger wage to teachers and doctors.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
347 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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