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Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families, but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families, but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? AXB1
Care homes and nursing homes become more popular and the number of these organizations is increasing in the biggest rate. Some people choose to not care about their parents by themselves and put elderly people in care homes. This essay will discuss the pros and cons of this trend. When a person gets old, a family should pay more attention and more communication to it. Although, not everyone could spent a lot of time to their parents. Some circumstances will not let families look for their old people. However, care homes and nursing homes help with that problem. In these places old people get a lot of attention and communication, furthermore, a lot of good specialists work there and these people will look for elderly persons. As a result, care homes is very useful to people that can not look for their families due to some circumstances. Thus, it is obviously can be seen that there is downsides in this situation. Some families can decide to leave their parents in to a care home forever and stop communicating with them. Furthermore, the level of care provided in nursing house may differs. Some care homes may relate badly to their customers and make old person's life even worse. This essay discussed the problem with the hardest decision of an every family — is to care for parents by themselves or use a care home. In my opinion, this is an everyone's choice that is depends on relationships between parents and their kids.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
and nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
become more popular and the number of these organizations is increasing in the biggest rate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
by themselves and put elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. This essay will discuss the pros and cons of this trend.

When a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
should pay more attention and more communication to it.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, not everyone could
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "spend"
spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
circumstances will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
look for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
and nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with that problem. In these places
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
attention and communication,
furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
specialists work there and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will look for elderly persons.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that can not look for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
circumstances.

Thus
, it is
obviously
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
Did you mean "there are downsides"?
there is downsides
in this situation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
can decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
home forever and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
communicating with them.
Furthermore
, the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
provided in nursing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
may differs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
may relate
badly
to their customers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
person's life even worse.

This essay discussed the problem with the hardest decision of an every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
— is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
by themselves or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
home. In my opinion, this is
Possible typo. Did you mean "an" or "everyone"?
an everyone
's choice
that is
depends on relationships between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and their kids.
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IELTS essay Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families, but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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