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Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? 7Xry
Thanks to the advent globalization, multinational companies established everywhere in the world. People buy any aspects for their life from anywhere. Because of same products country and people look like same. It is totally nagative trend and I will explain my arguments in following eassy. To begin with, people like to were branded clothes. Therefore traditional heritage become disappear. In revolution era, people use branded T-shirts so that they has less use traditional dress. As a result, traditional clothes industry dying day by day. Youngsters have not more awareness about the traditional dresses and industry become struct. And people who know about the traditional work are not more much. For example, in India, in shimla, local people wear clothes, which are in trande. Due to these, less number of people known about their traditional dresses. Hence, more similarities seen in the world towards the livelihood.
Thanks to the advent globalization, multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
established everywhere in the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
any aspects for their life from anywhere.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of same products country and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
look like same. It is
totally
Possible spelling mistake found.
nagative
trend and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my arguments in following
Possible spelling mistake found.
eassy
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
were branded
clothes.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
heritage become disappear. In revolution era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
branded T-shirts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "have", "haven"
has
less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
dress.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
clothes industry dying day by day. Youngsters have not more awareness about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
dresses and industry become struct. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who know about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
work are not more much.
For example
, in India, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
shimla
, local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
wear clothes, which are in
Possible spelling mistake found.
trande
. Due to these, less number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
known about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
dresses.
Hence
, more similarities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the world towards the livelihood.
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IELTS essay Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
145 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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