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Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of that trend? v.4

Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of that trend? v. 4
Nowadays, it has been observed that there is an exorbitant rise in the old age houses in the nations. Most of the young people feels hard to take care their families because of their financial and region restrictions. The following essay states the benefits and drawbacks of nursing homes. The main advantage of having centres of caring is that, the younger people do not have to bother about their parent's welfare. It is observed that, most of the younger people have been migrating to a different country for getting a better job and the infrastructure. They are not in a position to give eyes on their loved ones. For example, in India, 5% of the country's population has been migrated and the government has started taking attention their old ones. This in results, helped the children to enjoy their living status without being in tensions by thinking about the parents. The other benefits include, elder people do not have to depend on their children for their welfare. Most of the time, the senior are forced to stay with their children, even if the kids are not favouring towards them. Children will not be in a sound financial condition to take attention the elders. They cannot quit their jobs for taking charge them. Having a nursing centre, helps parents to be independent and enjoy their life without being a burden to the society. Moreover, increasing housing units is an example that, elders and children are enjoying the facilities. On the other hand, some of the elders in the government caring centres, feels that they are ignored by their loved kids. They think, why their family member having hesitation to cheer them as they have spent all their life to protect younger generations. Often, this feels make them to fall under depression and eventually death with loneliness feeling. For example, in the recent survey conducted in one care unit, reveals that 10% of their population are having depression and this pushes individuals to tragedy. Furthermore, it has observed that, the grandchildren are missing their grandparents. The babies who have connection and interaction with the grandparents are showing high rate of interactive and intellectual skills than who are under parent's attention. Recently, the day care Centre, started having counselling for the mothers to make them understand the value and influence of senior parents in the child life. In conclusion, having nursed units is having advantages by making the youngster's journey as easy. However, it also has drawbacks as the older people
Nowadays, it has
been observed
that there is an exorbitant rise in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
in the nations. Most of the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to take care their families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their financial and region restrictions. The following essay states the benefits and drawbacks of nursing homes.

The main advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
of caring is that, the younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
bother about their parent's welfare. It
is observed
that, most of the younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have been migrating to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
country for getting a better job and the infrastructure. They are not in a position to give eyes on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
For example
, in India, 5% of the country's population has
been migrated
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
taking attention their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. This in results,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to enjoy their living status without being in tensions by thinking about the parents.

The other benefits include,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
depend on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for their welfare. Most of the time, the senior
are forced
to stay with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, even if the kids are not
Possible spelling mistake. 'favouring' is British English.
favouring
towards them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
will not be in a sound financial condition to take attention the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
. They cannot quit their jobs for taking charge them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Having
a nursing
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
parents to be independent and enjoy their life without being a burden to the society.
Moreover
, increasing housing units is an example that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are enjoying the facilities.

On the other hand
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
caring
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
, feels that they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
kids. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, why their family member
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
hesitation to cheer them as they have spent all their life to protect younger generations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
, this feels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them to fall under depression and
eventually
death with loneliness feeling.
For example
, in the recent survey conducted in one care unit, reveals that 10% of their population are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
depression and this pushes individuals to tragedy.

Furthermore
, it has observed that, the grandchildren are missing their grandparents. The babies who have connection and interaction with the grandparents are showing high rate of interactive and intellectual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
than who are under parent's attention. Recently, the day care
Possible spelling mistake. 'Centre' is British English.
Centre
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
counselling for the mothers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them understand the value and influence of senior parents in the child life.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
nursed units is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
advantages by making the youngster's journey as easy.
However
, it
also
has drawbacks as the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of that trend? v. 4

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
417 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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