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Many doctors are concerned about the use of computer games by children and young. what mental and physical problems arise and what are the solutions

Many doctors are concerned about the use of computer games by children and young. what mental and physical problems arise and what are the solutions 7aN1Y
Technology is a boon for humans whilst, owing of accessing more and more electronic gadgets are becoming bane nowadays. Many doctors and health care workers are extremely worried about the use of computers to play games by kids and youngsters because that electronic devices lead individuals to the health issues like mentally and physically disorders. This essay will enunciate the impacts of computer games and remedies of this happening. To embark with the major effect is that when juviniles spend their more and more time to play computer games, then it damage their eyes and in a short period of time their eye-sight becomes vastly weak because of this, they are not able to see clearly. These games also indulge humans in depression which is very common disease in these days because many people prefer to do usage of these inventions to play games and feel relax but they never understand the bad impacts of these technology. Secondly, youngers and minors becoming lazy and due to this, they are not fit in health. Sometimes they indulge in bad companies and make fake accounts to hack others accounts or utilize their remunerations in computer games to win levels and other so on. To instance, In India there was a boy named jasdeep, he expand his 60, 000 in Pubg game to win levels and weapons. However, there are many measures to resolve that issues. Firstly, parents should make stringent norms for their kids and play physical games with them which is extremely good for the health. They also make schedules for their childrens which includes all the activities like exercises, playing outdoor games, eat organic and hygeinic meals and also gave electronic gadgets to access for a short period of time to communicate and interact with their friends and relatives. Furthermore, tutors provide awareness in classrooms, through small functions and lectures to new generations to use less time to play those games and in spite of this, they do physical exercises like yoga, walk, run to sharp their brain, enhance their stamina and get rid from mental and physical diseases.
Technology is a boon for humans whilst, owing of accessing more and more electronic gadgets are becoming bane nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
doctors and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care workers are
extremely
worried about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
by kids and youngsters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that electronic devices lead individuals to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues like mentally and
physically
disorders. This essay will enunciate the impacts of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and remedies of this happening.

To embark with the major effect is that when
Possible spelling mistake found.
juviniles
spend their more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, then it
Did you mean "damages"?
damage
their eyes and in a short period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
their eye-sight becomes
vastly
weak
because of this
, they are not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
clearly
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
also
indulge humans in depression which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common disease in these days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to do usage of these inventions to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and feel relax
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they never understand the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impacts of
Did you mean "this technology" or "these technologies"?
these technology
.
Secondly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
and minors becoming lazy and due to this, they are not fit in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
they indulge in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
fake accounts to hack others accounts or utilize their remunerations in computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
to win levels and other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. To instance, In India there was a boy named
Possible spelling mistake found.
jasdeep
, he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "expands", "expanded".
expand
his 60, 000 in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pubg
game to win levels and weapons.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
measures to resolve that issues.
Firstly
, parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
stringent norms for their kids and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
with them which is
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. They
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
schedules for their
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
which includes all the activities like exercises, playing outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, eat organic and
Possible spelling mistake found.
hygeinic
meals and
also
gave electronic gadgets to access for a short period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to communicate and interact with their friends and relatives.
Furthermore
, tutors provide awareness in classrooms, through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
functions and lectures to new generations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
this, they do physical exercises like yoga, walk, run to sharp their brain, enhance their stamina and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
The usual collocation for "rid" is "of" not "from". Did you mean "rid of"?
rid from
mental and physical diseases.
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IELTS essay Many doctors are concerned about the use of computer games by children and young. what mental and physical problems arise and what are the solutions

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
349 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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