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In many nations, people in huge cites either live alone or in small family units, instead of a large, extended family. Is this a positive or negative trend? v.1

In many nations, people in huge cites either live alone or in small family units, instead of a large, extended family. Is this a positive or negative trend? v. 1
In many large cities around the world, it has become common for people to either live alone or in a small family instead of living in large extended family households. This essay will take a closer look at some of the positive and negative aspects that arise with this trend. On the one hand, this trend does have some positive aspects. For example, different generations want and value different things these days. Many young people do not wish to live the traditional lifestyles of their parents and grandparents. Therefore, living alone allows them the freedom to do as they please without having to face constant judgement or criticism. Furthermore, many older people do not wish to live the hectic, fast-paced lifestyle of modern city life and prefer to live a slower-paced, healthier life in the countryside during their retirement. Living alone, or in smaller family groups allows each generation to live their preferred lifestyle. However, this trend also brings several drawbacks. Firstly, as parents and grandparents get older, they may face a number of physical and mental health problems, and by living alone, they may lack the care and attention they need from their children. Secondly, children will have less interaction and influence from grandparents, and potentially miss out on important life lessons from grandparents who have a lot of valuable life experience. Important traditions and customs may also be lost from generation to generation. Finally, living alone, or in small family groups can lead to poor family bonds between generations. In conclusion, I believe that while this trend does bring some benefits, overall, they are definitely outweighed by the drawbacks.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
large cities around the world, it has become common for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
or in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
instead
of
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living
in large extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
households. This essay will take a closer look at
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
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negative
aspects that arise with this trend.

On the one hand, this trend does have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects.
For example
,
The word 'different' contains a ligature (joined letters). Modern English does not usually use ligatures. A ligature in a word causes a spelling error. If the word is an English word, write it with standard characters.
different
generations want and value
The word 'different' contains a ligature (joined letters). Modern English does not usually use ligatures. A ligature in a word causes a spelling error. If the word is an English word, write it with standard characters.
different
things these days.
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Many
young
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people
do not wish to
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live
the traditional lifestyles of their parents and
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grandparents
.
Therefore
,
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living
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alone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them the freedom to do as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
without having to face constant judgement or criticism.
Furthermore
,
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many
older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not wish to
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live
the hectic,
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fast
-paced lifestyle of modern city
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life
and prefer to
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live
a slower-paced, healthier
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life
in the countryside during their retirement.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
, or in smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
groups
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
each generation to
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live
their preferred lifestyle.

However
, this trend
also
brings several drawbacks.
Firstly
, as parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older, they may face a number of physical and mental health problems, and by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
, they may lack the care and attention they need from their children.
Secondly
, children will have less interaction and
The word 'influence' contains a ligature (joined letters). Modern English does not usually use ligatures. A ligature in a word causes a spelling error. If the word is an English word, write it with standard characters.
influence
from
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grandparents
, and
potentially
miss out on
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important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
lessons from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
who have
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a lot of
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
experience.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Important
traditions and customs may
also
be lost
from generation to generation.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
, or in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
groups can lead to poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bonds between generations.

In conclusion
, I believe that while this trend does bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits,
overall
, they are definitely outweighed by the drawbacks.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In many nations, people in huge cites either live alone or in small family units, instead of a large, extended family. Is this a positive or negative trend? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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