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Many countries want to host international sportsevents,while other countries think that hosting sports events has more problems than benefits.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many countries want to host international sportsevents, while other countries think that hosting sports events has more problems than benefits. O9Kd
Lots of countries announce international sports events, while some nations do not organise sports events. There are more benefits than drawbacks to host countries and some countries have losses as well. This essay will discuss that it is more beneficial to countries who organise the international sports events. Countries who host international sports events like Olympic games have more benefits in terms of marketing of that particular city of the country, increase in tourism industry and the world’s finest sporting venues and so on. Many tourists visit host country and explore it. For example, Barcelona put on the global map due to successfully host Olympic games. Moreover, sports events attract many tourists and businesses to invest in that country. For these reasons, more countries are desiring for international sports events for their country’s growth. Conversely, some of the countries are not ready to invest money by hosting international sports events such as Olympic. These countries think that after the Olympic games, stadiums will be left unused, during the sports event may local public face inconvenience and congestion. Due to these some public may riot for wasted money on sports event rather than country’s development, and international sports event may be unsuccessful too. For instance, the Olympic stadiums after the games are useless. In addition, host cities may have to bear losses from unsuccessful sports events such as Montreal and Athens are examples of unsuccessful sports events. Moreover, the money which is invested on the games are inefficient after the games get over. In conclusion, most countries believe in hosting international sports event to gain popularity worldwide unlike the some of the countries do not support international sports event for their internal issues with the public. Ultimately, host countries open up their ways of growing economy.
Lots of
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countries
announce
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international
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sports
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events
, while
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some
nations do not
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organise
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sports
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events
. There are more benefits than drawbacks to
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host
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countries
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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countries
have losses
as well
. This essay will discuss that it is more beneficial to
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countries
who
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
the
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international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.

Countries who
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host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
like Olympic
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games
have more benefits in terms of marketing of that particular city of the
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country
, increase in tourism industry and the world’s finest sporting venues and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
tourists visit
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host
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country
and explore it.
For example
, Barcelona put on the global map due to
successfully
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host
Olympic
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games
.
Moreover
,
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sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourists and businesses to invest in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. For these reasons, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are desiring for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
for their
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country’s
growth.

Conversely
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
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countries
are not ready to invest money by hosting
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international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
such as Olympic. These
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countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that after the Olympic
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games
, stadiums will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
unused, during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
may local public face inconvenience and congestion. Due to these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
public may riot for wasted money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
rather
than
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country’s
development, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
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event
may be unsuccessful too.
For instance
, the Olympic stadiums after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are useless.
In addition
,
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host
cities may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
bear losses from unsuccessful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
such as Montreal and Athens are examples of unsuccessful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
.
Moreover
, the money which
is invested
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are inefficient after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
over.

In conclusion
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
believe in hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
to gain popularity worldwide unlike the
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do not support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
for their internal issues with the public.
Ultimately
,
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host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
open up their ways of growing economy.

IELTS essay Many countries want to host international sportsevents, while other countries think that hosting sports events has more problems than benefits.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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