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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in town and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in town and cities closing. wVjr
Exponential increase of online shopping is causing huge effects in the traditional trading. For this reason there is a belief that very possibly the normal shops have to close. In this essay, I will argue with two main reasons why I disagree with this belief. Firstly, there are a lot of people that like to know the quality of their purchase. Therefore, they prefer touch the material and felt the texture rather than only view photos. For instance, I never buy shoes through online shopping because I like to dress up and to feel if the shoes are comfortable or uncomfortable. I know many people that they think very similar to me. As a result, the traditional shops will never close due to there are many customers that prefer knowing to close the product. Secondly, there have been many people who were cheated when they did their banking or they received their purchase. Therefore, people do not trust in the online shopping. To illustrate that, in the year 2012 in Colombia, the 25% of customers did complain because of they were not satisfied with the quality of the products or they received other products which were not requested. Consequently, many people come back to buy in traditional stores and online shopping cut down their growth. To conclude, it is true that online shopping every day are more popular. However, there are people that love to go shopping and to know different branch. Hence, the traditional stores will always be available around the world.
Exponential increase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is causing huge effects in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
trading.
For this reason
there is a belief that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
possibly
the normal shops
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
close. In this essay, I will argue with two main reasons why I disagree with this belief.

Firstly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that like to know the quality of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
.
Therefore
, they prefer touch the material and felt the texture
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
view photos.
For instance
, I never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
shoes through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I like to dress up and to feel if the shoes are comfortable or uncomfortable. I know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
similar to me.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
shops will never close due to there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
customers that prefer knowing to close the product.

Secondly
, there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
were cheated
when they did their
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
banking or
they received their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not trust in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. To illustrate that, in the year 2012 in Colombia, the 25% of customers did complain
Probable usage error. Use "because they" instead.
because of they
were not satisfied with the quality of the
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
products or
they received other products which were not requested.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
stores and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down their growth.

To conclude
, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
every day are more popular.
However
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
and to know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
branch.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
stores will always be available around the world.
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IELTS essay The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in town and cities closing.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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