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Many countries register to host international sport events. Are the advantages greater than the drawbacks of hosting such events?

Many countries register to host international sport events. Are the advantages greater than the drawbacks of hosting such events? aAJG7
International sporting events are expanding and becoming more and more popular. It plays an important role in many countries, so the governments catch opportunities to host this international competition. Although hosting an international sports event is thought to be capable of beneficial for the country, some people indicated that it is negative. The proponents believe that tourist from other countries came here to enjoy and they forget to maintain decency and create problem for local residents. For an instance, these foreign audience will incur huge amount of garbage near the event area and residents of these places find difficult to live in such bad environment. Moreover, such tourist like to consume alcohol and create unnecessary noise pollution as they are drunk. Sometime they even drive after drunk, put other's lives in danger. However, besides the downsides of hosting an international sports competition there are also advantages. The organization of such events helps to promote the image of cultures and people in countries. For example, expanding the promotion of attractive tourist destinations, traditional dishes. . . Foreign tourists who come to participate will have to pay a lot of money for tickets, accommodation and meals. Besides, such visitors want to buy some souvenirs during their visit. This makes a big contribution to boosting the local economy. The government earns huge amount of money from such global events which will give great atmosphere to those events. In conclusion, the event that although foreign visitors cause some difficulties for the locals, the advantage of organizing such an event has a more positive impact on the economy and output of the host country.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are expanding and becoming more and more popular. It plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
catch opportunities to host this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
competition. Although hosting an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to be capable of beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
indicated that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.

The proponents believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
came here to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
enjoy and
they forget to maintain decency and create problem for local residents. For an instance, these foreign audience will incur huge amount of garbage near the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
area and residents of these places find difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
environment.
Moreover
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
like to consume alcohol and create unnecessary noise pollution as they
are drunk
. Sometime they even drive after drunk, put other's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.

However
,
besides
the downsides of hosting an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
sports competition there are
also
advantages. The organization of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to promote the image of cultures and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For example
, expanding the promotion of attractive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
destinations, traditional dishes.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to participate will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money for tickets, accommodation and meals.
Besides
, such visitors want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
souvenirs during their visit. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
contribution to boosting the local economy. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
earns huge amount of money from such global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
which will give great atmosphere to those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
that although foreign visitors cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulties for the locals, the advantage of organizing such an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
has a more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the economy and output of the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.

IELTS essay Many countries register to host international sport events. Are the advantages greater than the drawbacks of hosting such events?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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