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Family is a very important thing in a person's life.

Family is a very important thing in a person's life. xDOjQ
Family is a very important thing in a person's life. A person learn values during his childhood from his family. There is a long term debate about whether a person should live in a extended family or he should spend his life in a nuclear family. Personally, I believe that compared to the past, extended family has fewer importance nowadays. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. To begin with, with the advent of the modern technology, our world has now become a global village. Within few seconds, we can communicate with a people who lives very far from us. So, after not living with our grandapernts, cousins, uncles, and aunts, we can communicate with them very easily and very quickly too. Therefore, extended family is not needed at current days. My personal example is a compelling example of this. I belong to a nuclear family where I live with my father, mother, and brother. My grandparents, and uncles live very far from our house. we do communicate with our relatives every day over phone. That is why our bonding with our relatives doesn't hamper though we don't belong to an extended family. Morever, nowadays, housing types have changed a lot. At past, there were large houses where many people could live together. But now most houses are ready-made appartment with two three living room. As a result, It is nearly impossible for a extended family with several family members to live together. For instance, when my grandfather was a child, his family lived in a very big houses. Additionally, his family was an extended family also. But now we live in small appartment with two living rooms. So, It is nearly impossible for us two live as an extended family. In conclusion, I will say it is not important nowadays to form an extended family. This is because the advancement of the technology and the new housing types.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing in a person's life. A person learn values during his childhood from his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. There is a long term debate about whether a person should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extended
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
family or
he should spend his life in a nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Personally
, I believe that compared to the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
has
Did you mean "less importance"?
fewer importance
nowadays. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, with the advent of the modern technology, our world has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become a global village. Within few seconds, we can communicate with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
Did you mean "live"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
far from us.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, after not living with our
Possible spelling mistake found.
grandapernts
, cousins, uncles, and aunts, we can communicate with them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
quickly
too.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is not needed at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
days. My personal example is a compelling example of this. I belong to a nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
where I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with my father, mother, and brother. My
The comma is probably incorrect: "grandparents"
grandparents,
and uncles
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
far from our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
do communicate with our relatives every day over phone.
That is
why our bonding with our relatives doesn't hamper though we don't belong to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extended
family.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Morever
, nowadays, housing types have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
a lot. At past, there were large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
together.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
are ready-made
Possible spelling mistake found.
appartment
with two three living room.
As a result
, It is
nearly
impossible for
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
with several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
together.
For instance
, when my grandfather was a child, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
.
Additionally
, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
was an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
also
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
Possible spelling mistake found.
appartment
with two living rooms.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, It is
nearly
impossible for us two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extended
family.

In conclusion
, I will say it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
nowadays to form an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the advancement of the technology and the new housing types.
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IELTS essay Family is a very important thing in a person's life.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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