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Many countries have recently experienced a great expansion of the population and size of their cities. The social process is called < urbanization>. Do you think urbanization is making people's life better? Give reasons and specific examples to support your stance.

It is true that nowadays urbanization is the process that most of the countries are currently experiencing. While I agree that this situation makes people to have better life, I also believe that crowded population leads to the difficulty. As one point of view, people are moving to cities where offer many chances for several reasons. Firstly, urban areas often provide greater employment opportunities. For examples, many big cities around the world are centers for business and manufacturing. Secondly, civic areas are usually the centers for knowledge and learning. Because the best schools and universities are almost always located in metropolis. Thirdly, big cities also have higher health facilities. Due to the important fact that the convenience of having quality hospitals close, people want to move to the city. Some of the positive implications of urbanization, therefore, include the creation of job opportunities and superior social benefits and services. Nevertheless, extensive urbanization also results in adverse effects. For instance, urbanization attracts people to cities and towns which leads to a high population increase. With the increase in the number of people living in urban centers, overcrowding has become developed and there is a continued scarcity of houses. This also gives rise to development of slums and many social problems including violence, drug abuse, and poverty- related crime. Another example is when more people move to towns and cities, one of the major challenges posed is in the transport system. A plenty number of people in civic areas drive to work and this creates a severe traffic problem and air pollution. These kind of circumstances are harmful effects of inner-city. To conclude, it seems to me that the moving to central areas can be positive as well as negative.
It is true that nowadays urbanization is the process that most of the countries are
currently
experiencing. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that this situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have better life, I
also
believe that crowded population leads to the difficulty.

As one point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
where offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
chances for several reasons.
Firstly
, urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
provide greater employment opportunities. For examples,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
around the world are centers for business and manufacturing.
Secondly
, civic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are
usually
the centers for knowledge and learning.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the best schools and universities are almost always located in metropolis.
Thirdly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
also
have higher health facilities. Due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
fact that the convenience of having quality hospitals close,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the city.
If the text is a generality, ‘of the’ is not necessary.
Some of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
implications of urbanization,
therefore
, include the creation of job opportunities and superior social benefits and services.

Nevertheless
, extensive urbanization
also
results in adverse effects.
For instance
, urbanization attracts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and towns which leads to a high population increase. With the increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in urban centers, overcrowding has become developed and there is a continued scarcity of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. This
also
gives rise to development of slums and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
social problems including violence, drug abuse, and poverty- related crime. Another example is when more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to towns and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, one of the major challenges posed is in the transport system. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in civic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
drive to work and this creates a severe traffic problem and air pollution.
‘These’ does not seem to match the singular noun ‘kind’. Did you mean “this kind” or “These kinds”?
These kind
of circumstances are harmful effects of inner-city.

To conclude
, it seems to me that the moving to central
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.
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IELTS essay Many countries have recently experienced a great expansion of the population and size of their cities. The social process is called < urbanization>. Do you think urbanization is making people's life better? Give reasons and specific examples to support your stance.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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