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Modern lifestyles mean that many parents have little time for their children. Many children suffer because they do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. do you agree or disagree.

It is obvious that life's wheel is accelerating much more than ever prior to and as a result of that, a number of young people have a lack of families relationship, unlike what their peers found previously. I do agree with that in recent time children do not get abundance care from their parent, this is actually owing to the fact of that housewives are working full time jobs and children are spending numerous time at school. The primary reason of the deterioration of joints between families member is that women are getting jobs in order to deal with the new life requirement, in other words they do not have abundance of time to look after their kids, consequently, children will face enormous difficulties, for example, numerous of studies have found that %80 of working women have shortage in their relation with kids. Secondly, children are spending too much time at school, although schooling is a kind of learning, however the rule of home learning via imitation of parents is consequently essential, which has been reduced due to less remaining time of day as children will not have adequate time to be in tough with their parent. As such it can be concluded that the issue of suffering with children due to absence of their parents for long time has grown in importance over the past few years, which is leads to detrimental consequences.
It is obvious that life's wheel is accelerating much more than ever prior to and
as a result
of that, a number of young
people
have a lack of families relationship, unlike what their peers found previously. I do
agree
with that in recent
time
children
do not
get
abundance care from their parent, this is actually owing to the fact of that housewives are working full
time
jobs and
children
are spending numerous
time
at school.

The primary reason of the deterioration of joints between families member is that women are getting jobs in order to deal with the new life requirement,
in other words
they do not have abundance of
time
to look after their kids,
consequently
,
children
will face enormous difficulties,
for example
, numerous of studies have found that %80 of working women have shortage in their relation with kids.

Secondly
,
children
are spending too much
time
at school, although schooling is a kind of learning,
however
the
rule
of home learning via imitation of parents is
consequently
essential, which has been
reduced
due to less remaining
time
of day as
children
will not have adequate
time
to be in tough with their parent.

As such it can
be concluded
that the issue of suffering with
children
due to absence of their parents for long
time
has grown in importance over the past few years, which is leads to detrimental consequences.
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IELTS essay Modern lifestyles mean that many parents have little time for their children. Many children suffer because they do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
234 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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