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In many counries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. Why do you thing this is and what can be done about it?

Nowadays the number of crimes is not only rising but also becomes more severe in many countries. I totally agree with this statement as it is show that many governments build prisons rather than educated teenager not to become criminals. Clearly a big influence for the high level of violent in many countries starts with paragon people. Where everyone they had the choice of make an account in every social media program. Like instagram, facebook and the new one app, tik tok. As a result to organize the teenagers mind and spend a lot of time to create a video that are dangerous to sell own self in this age group such as folks. So, they pull the teenagers to exertion that activity and as a effect to self-injured or injured others with that “evil” prank and makes them feel power and special people in the society. From the other hand the violent promote the TV, media or Netflix and many others programs like this. Shows or series or movies with “positive” message like the la casa de Babel where show if you burglary from bank or organize the perfect heist plus kill people where are obstacles in our road for the magnificent heist, automatically you’re the glamorous and focus person and you are the mimic example for the common humans. They strong believe only that way we must choose to fight the government. Mainly reason that people behave like wild animals is their education. If any parents or media or government promote the racism or avarice they create monsters where thirsty for the blood everything that different or everyone blood that they in a good place than him. The build monsters as I said before that they kill, they beat, fraud people, vandalism houses. Provided that they vandalism take the law in your hand and makes one world disgusting and the government is involve in all this. Conclude that governments must review again the laws and everyone that take the act out of them and take it in on their hand and deprived the freedom in every person on this world they must punishment. The government must educate the teenager and their parents that all people are the same with different culture, different life but on the end of the day all live together in one world that may have the freedom to make your life as good as possible that you can without to invade in others live but accept how they are. Mainly all lives matter.
Nowadays the number of crimes is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
rising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
becomes more severe in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement as it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
build prisons
rather
than educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
not to become criminals.

Clearly
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
influence for the high level of violent in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
with paragon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
“Where” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Where
everyone they had the choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
an account in every social media program. Like
Possible spelling mistake found.
instagram
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
and the new one app,
Did you mean “TikTok” (= social networking app)?
tik tok
.
As a result
to organize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
mind and spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time to create a video that are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to sell
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
self in this age group such as folks.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they pull the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
to exertion that activity and as
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
effect to self-injured or injured others with that “evil” prank and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them feel power and special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the society.

From the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand the violent promote the TV, media or Netflix and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others programs like this.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Shows
or series or movies with “
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
” message like the la
Possible spelling mistake found.
casa
Possible spelling mistake found.
de
Babel where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
if
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun ‘you’. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
you burglary
from bank or organize the perfect heist plus kill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
where are obstacles in our road for the magnificent heist,
automatically
you’re the glamorous and focus
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
person and
you are the mimic example for the common humans. They strong
Did you mean “belief” (noun) instead of believe (verb)?
believe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that way we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
choose to fight the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

Mainly
reason that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
behave like wild animals is their education. If any parents or media or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
promote the racism or avarice they create monsters where thirsty for the blood everything that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
or everyone
The pronoun ‘everyone’ is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: “bloods”, “blooded”.
blood
that they in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
place than him. The build monsters as I said
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
that they kill, they beat, fraud
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, vandalism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. Provided that
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun ‘they’. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they vandalism
take the law in your hand and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
one world disgusting and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is
Consider using either the past participle “involved” or the present participle “involving” here.
involve
in all this.

Conclude that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
review again the laws and everyone that take the act out of them and take it in on their hand and deprived the freedom in every person on this world they
The word ‘punishment’ is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
must punishment
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
educate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
and their parents that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are the same with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together in one world that may have the freedom to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
your life as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as possible that you can without to invade in others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
accept how they are.
Mainly
all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
matter.
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IELTS essay In many counries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. Why do you thing this is and what can be done about it?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
419 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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