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The gap between the rich and poor is growing. What difficulties does this cause? How can these problems be overcome?

Unequal dispersion of money is one of the problem of people and This creates important crucial gab between people as some of them are richer than others. Governments attempts to reduce this economic issue but it is not always successful. If we pay attention to this problem we can find some type of solution for solving this problem. One reason of unequal dispersion of money is that some people do not have an opportunity to possess a good education, university degree or master degree so that causes unemployed. Because when people graduate from university they have got a chance to get a well-paid job. Conversely, when they have not got a condition for studying at university, in the future they will not able to find a high paying job. Second reason of this is living in the country which is developed country or undeveloped country. However, while people in indeveloped countries like Africa countries even could not find a job for living and providing their daily requirements, in developed countries as europe countries can find a job easily. Despite existing all of this problem, at the same time there are solutions of them. First one is providing people with education as much as possible. If education fee did not exist, lots of people would apply to university. the solution of second problem is that people who could not find a job are able to go another country. Even it is hard going to europe countries or america there is a developed country in Africa. In conclusion, the gab between the rich and poor is widening, it is not insoluble so if the government attempts to improve education system, it will be reduced.
Unequal dispersion of money is one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
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people
and This creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
crucial gab between
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people
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them are richer than others.
Possible agreement error.
Governments attempts
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this economic issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not always successful. If we pay attention to this
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problem
we can
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find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
type of solution for solving this problem.

One reason of unequal dispersion of money is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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people
do not have an opportunity to possess a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
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education
,
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university
degree or master degree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that causes unemployed.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
when
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people
graduate from
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university
they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a well-paid
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job
.
Conversely
, when they have not
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got
a condition for studying at
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university
, in the future they will not able to
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find
a high paying
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job
. Second reason of this is living in the
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country
which
is developed
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country
or undeveloped
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country
.
However
, while
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people
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
indeveloped
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countries
like Africa
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countries
even could not
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find
a
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job
for living and providing their daily requirements, in developed
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countries
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
europe
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countries
can
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find
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
easily
.

Despite existing all of this
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problem
, at the same time there are solutions of them.
First
one is providing
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people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as much as possible. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
fee did not exist, lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would apply to
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university
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
the
solution of second
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problem
is that
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people
who could not
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find
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
are able to go another
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country
. Even it is
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hard
going to
Possible spelling mistake found.
europe
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countries
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
america
there is a developed
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country
in Africa.

In conclusion
, the gab between the rich and poor is widening, it is not insoluble
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so
if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
attempts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system, it will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
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IELTS essay The gap between the rich and poor is growing. What difficulties does this cause? How can these problems be overcome?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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