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"Many countries believe that retiring age should be increased as people are living longer. " To which extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

"Many countries believe that retiring age should be increased as people are living longer. " To which extent oxDKV
Multitude people in contemporary era are living longer that which makes people to firmly believe in increasing one's retiring age. In my notion, life expectancy of the individual is unpredictable it can be accreted due to certain advancements. one of those advancements is technological development in health sector making doctors and surgeons well-equipped to save lives. Furthermore, new findings by the scientists have led to emergence of techniques and facilities which can be utilised to cure diseases that previously could not be cured. For instance, cancer is one of the diseases which used to instil fear in people due to its incurable temperament but, today, modern findings have made it much easier to defeat it. However, environmental pollution that causes severe implications on individual's health are also transcending along with rising developments. For instance, air pollution in India has prompted reduction of 9 years from individual's life expectancy. Moreover, death is inevitable and unprecedented and there are such other factors like rising crime rates and road rage accidents abandoning one with no security. To reiterate, one's life cannot be measured beforehand and it is a pradoxical situation as the factors curtailing people's lives are relatively equitable to ones for their accretion. Also people, around the world, are not experiencing the same growth in their living years while some places can implement this according to their own account.
Multitude
people
in contemporary era are living longer that which
makes
people
to
firmly
believe in increasing one's retiring age. In my notion, life expectancy of the individual is unpredictable it can
be accreted
due to certain advancements.

one
of those advancements is technological development in health sector making doctors and surgeons well-equipped to save
lives
.
Furthermore
, new findings by the scientists have led to emergence of techniques and facilities which can be
utilised
to cure diseases that previously could not
be cured
.
For instance
, cancer is one of the diseases which
used
to
instil
fear in
people
due to its incurable temperament
but
,
today
, modern findings have made it much easier to defeat it.

However
, environmental pollution that causes severe implications on individual's health are
also
transcending along with rising developments.
For instance
, air pollution in India has prompted reduction of 9 years from individual's life expectancy.
Moreover
, death is inevitable and unprecedented and there are such other factors like rising crime rates and road rage accidents abandoning one with no security.

To reiterate, one's life cannot
be measured
beforehand and it is a
pradoxical
situation as the factors curtailing
people
's
lives
are
relatively
equitable to ones for their accretion.
Also
people
, around the world, are not experiencing the same growth in their living years while
some
places can implement this according to their
own
account.
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IELTS essay "Many countries believe that retiring age should be increased as people are living longer. " To which extent

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
227 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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